Ben Folds + Our Wedding = My Impossible Campaign

As of right now, I give myself an F.... maybe a D minus for effort.... I haven't booked a musical act for the wedding. It's the ONE task that men across the globe want to help wedding plan. Sure, I've had a lot of great ideas, but I haven't pulled the trigger.

It's late at night and I'm in bed thinking what music I want at my wedding. A name blazes through my head so fast it's like a big fast name that's on fire, and it's evidently all I can think about because I couldn't even come up with a good metaphor for something that's fast and blazes! The name is Ben Folds. I know it's impossible and it will never happen. So I roll over and wake up Rebecca to try to get her opinion. It's absolutely no help that she wakes up and groggily says she wants Ben Folds too. So instead of sleeping, I spend hours trying to figure out where I can find an affordable band to replicate that sound. The problem is, it can't be done. Such a band does not exist.

So I'm coming to you internet. As cliche as it sounds, stranger things have happened. Maybe one day Ben Folds will get bored and google his own name. Maybe I'll be somewhere on that list and he'll click. Let's somehow get my plea to him. I'm sick of wasting my time trying to figure out what I can find to replace Ben... now I'm onto wasting my time trying to reach out to him. Today I launch my campaign to get Ben Folds perform at my wedding reception. With your help, let's make this impossible task happen! If you run a site, post a link! Help a brother out! The campaign begins today!

TEMPLE OF GROOM
OPERATION: GET BEN FOLDS TO PLAY OUR WEDDING
DAY ONE

Task 1: Reach out to Internet
Task 2: Letter to Ben Folds (see below)

Dear Ben,
Hey dude, what's up? Did you see the series finale of "Monk?" I don't really watch that show, but I think it was pretty good. Cool, cool....So look, obviously you know I didn't come here to talk about "Monk" and I know what you're thinking "Dave only writes to me when he wants something." Look, you're not completely wrong. I feel terrible about it. But now I'm swallowing my pride because I'd be forever grateful if you could just do me this one solid: play at our wedding in August. Before you scoff, and turn away, I do want to say that you kind of did this to yourself man. You're too good. You've made it impossible to like any other music. Nothing will do.

I don't want to bore you with details about Rebecca and me, but you'd really like us. We're fun, and we're going to have a great wedding. The food should be awesome, and you're totally welcomed to eat with us. We've been fans of yours for a very long time. I've loved your music for the last 12 years when I first heard you (I was living in Charlotte at the time). We're definitely fans, but we're not the type you have to be afraid of (we've never thought about wearing your skin to see if it makes us better at the piano!). BUT, we are the type of fan that thought that your concert was the best way to spend our 3 year anniversary last year (@ the Wiltern).

On TV, I just watched Oprah surprise her best friend Gayle by having Josh Groban serenade her at work. I think you're easily 10x cooler than Josh Groban. I'm not saying that we're any better than Gayle, but between you and me...well, I just think you'd have a better time at our wedding than hanging with Gayle (although I hear that she makes an awesome spinach and artichoke dip). You seem like someone that would want to make a wedding on a tight budget the event of a lifetime because it would mean so much to the couple. I don't know how true this is, but years ago a friend of mine that went to UNC claimed he saw you talking to a homeless man for over an hour. This proves that you're awesome and caring. This is why I think I have a chance, albeit a 0.04% chance.

Alright, I don't want this to get too beggy, or too long so I guess I'll wrap this up. If you've got any questions, please don't hesitate to write. But before I go, just think about all the website hits you're gonna get from people that read my website. I can guarantee probably about 20-30 a day....a DAY. You'll blow up. Lastly, let me say that Rebecca and I love you and we hope your family is well and having a great holiday season.

Hit me back whenever you get a chance,
Dave

PS. If it makes a difference I can promise that you won't have to play "Rock this bitch" at the wedding!

We have a photographer!!!!

Last week we booked an awesome duo that will shoot our wedding! I'd love to introduce you to Brian Callaway and his wife/shooting partner Allison! Together the two of them make up CallawayGable Photography.

Rebecca and I are in love with them, and their work. The pictures they take are beautiful, artistic, and memorable. Allison is a former high-fashion model and utilizes the experience she has by knowing how to pose the bride and groom. She knows all the best angles. What I've learned by looking at some people's photography, even if you're looking for that "photo journalistic" style - if the photographer is shooting you from the wrong angles or you're recreating a moment posed in the wrong angle, the picture is useless. Brian has such a great eye and looks to capture as many senses in each photograph as he can. The dude even makes iphone pictures look incredible.

Best of all, the two of them couldn't be nicer! I'm so excited about having them shoot our wedding. I feel comfortable with them, and even though I've only known them for a little more than a month - I feel like they're friends! I trust them, which is so great. One thing I definitely don't have to worry about on the day of the wedding (ie "did the photographers get that?! UGH!)

Check out some of their pictures. I'll post some engagement session photos whenever we get them taken. Can't wait to have these two photograph us!

(I mean REALLY?!? look how awesome that posed photograph looks w/ the wedding party! I don't love traditional staged photographs, but I'm dying to have one of these a la a Vogue magazine picture, or something you see on a billboard advertising Gossip Girl!)

Only 10 more followers...

...and I post the first in a series of embarrassing pics and videos of myself.

Every 50 followers I'll post something I've kept hidden away for years!

Note: My parents just told me about footage they have of me doing stand up at the age of 6. It includes impressions of Alf, Robin Leach, and Pee-Wee Herman. This is not off limits.

Asking the guys to join the party.

I have a question for anyone out there with answers: Is there a non-cheesy way of asking a friend to partake in your wedding?

I've been sitting staring at a blank unwritten email for the last few days trying to craft a letter to a few friends about the wedding. There is absolutely no way to do this that doesn't sound like I want to make love to each and every one of them. Funny thing is that I don't even want them to be in the wedding (we're not having a big wedding party) I just want them to hang out with me during the day of, get ready with me, be ushers at the wedding, and take a few photos with me.

I'm getting married in August, so is it too soon to send out this email? I'm afraid that it's going to launch us into a thread of making-fun-of-me emails with speeds Nigerian spammers would be envious of. (Which reminds me, before I send out this email to my guy friends I need to claim money that an unknown relative left me in Nigeria, I'm apparently the only heir to the millions.)

Is this something I shouldn't even ask over email? Do guys actually pick up the phone and have a heart to heart with someone before asking him to be in the wedding? That sounds worse than the email! Do I need to schedule something kind of overly masculine with them and sneak the question in somehow? For instance maybe I should pull a belt off my car's engine, have a friend over to fix it, and then be like "Dude, this fan belt is like insane. We should hang out on my wedding day." This is almost WORSE that I'm not asking them to be in the wedding, that would be a nice honor... instead I'm asking my friends to hang out with me and take pictures with me so I can verify I do, in fact, know people and have friends.

Help.

Ten Thousand Only exclusive interview!

Days after I got engaged I found a blog that opened my wedding eyes. It not only got me more excited to plan my wedding, but it got me in the blogging mood. The blog is called "Ten Thousand Only" and it followed one girl from pre-engagement to present day (post wedding). It was so fun to read about a fellow Angelino on a tight budget ($10,000 - obviously) who wanted to throw a fun party. In a way, I loved it because I felt like she did a lot of the leg work for our wedding planning. I already knew the spots that were going to be too expensive, and she's given us ideas on where to cut corners. All that being said, I'm a fan and I was thrilled to score an interview with her and thought I would share it with you guys.

- Why did you start your blog?

I had been reading a few wedding blogs as part of a long list of daily detractors. i realized that there were weddings i liked reading about and ones that turned me off. i gave myself a dream budget* and thought it through. if i researched as much as the ladies on these blogs, could i do it? could i possibly throw a $10,000 wedding? a $10,000 wedding i would l-o-v-e? could i would i?

- I've already purchased my Gocco, and foresee a lot of DIY projects on my horizon to help cut costs, what were your DIY successes? Was there a project that you tried and wished you just spent the money to have someone else do it (aka a DIY disaster?). I really hope it wasn't the Gocco.

can i just tell you how much i LOVE the gocco? i love it. i don't know how to do anything fancy with it. but i'm a whiz at the basics. there's something about printing your own stuff that makes you feel like the craftiest craftmaster on the planet. when you're clearly not.
i've gocco'd invites, thank you cards, note cards, paper, anything i can get my hands on, etc...and i haven't come across a project i've regretted yet. and now i've just jinxed myself.

- How active was your fiance (the groom)? Did he help you plan?

he wasn't the driver, really ever, during the planning process because i'm the one who'd been researching all this wedding stuff for a year before we even got engaged. he'd been following the blog so he kind of knew where it was all headed. i think he sort of took a step back to let me just do my thing. and when i needed his help, he was right there. it worked for us.

- What decisions, if any, did he make? Was there anything that he wanted to take charge of in planning?

there wasn't a project he wanted to own. we kind of just did things together, made decisions together. neither of us was ever staunchly against what the other person wanted. lucky, huh.

- What's the best advice you could give an engaged couple about to have a wedding on a tight budget? How about a couple living in LA looking to have an LA wedding?

to the engaged couple on a tight budget: be flexible.
to the LA couple looking to have an LA wedding: be flexible.
one of the dumbest/smartest things i learned was that...you can't have a $50,000 wedding on a $10,000 budget. and yes, i had to learn that.

- What is your favorite time travel device (ie the Delorean, the glowing spinning time warp wall, the giant old timey metal contraption that spins till it disappears, etc)?

hiro isn't a time travel device but he's the master of time and space. so...hiro.

- Now, if you were to use that time travel device to go back in time and change one thing about your wedding, what would it be?

i wouldn't change any aspect of the wedding itself. but there are some details that were overlooked that i do regret. first, i would confirm the ceremony program with our officiant to make sure that we were on the same page (we so weren't). second, i would make sure we formally thanked all of our guests (we got caught up in the frenzy and didn't make the announcement we wanted) and went around to greet each of them (we only got to half of our guests. double argh). but, i couldn't help the logistics that got swept out of my control. that's just the way it is. everyone says the time is short and it totally is...and i absolutely couldn't wrap myself around the fronts and ends of everything that was happening. plus i was trying my best to just soak it all in. so...i was kind of busy.

- What's the best thing that's come from your blogging?

what a loaded question. a million things.
there were a lot of times while i was planning when i felt cautious, worried, anxious. if i do this, what will people think. if i don't do that, what will people say. over and over and over again.
and what TTO offered was some of the most sane, wise, encouraging advice through readers and fellow bloggers. it was pretty amazing. i mean, i wasn't an experienced or inspirational blogger of any kind...i was just a stranger who jumped in and started blogging blindly and anonymously without knowing much about anything.

but in the end, the blog was a major influence on how our wedding turned out. and we were so effing happy. and in the best possible way.

Some great pictures from Ten Thousand Only's wedding!
pictures taken by Max Wanger.

My Kidney is Staging a Walk Out

I know this isn't wedding talk, but I thought I would share anyway. For the last few days my right kidney has been royally pissed at me. I don't know if it's because I love steak and iced tea way too much, haven't babied him enough, but whatever I did Kidney ain't happy. I'm not really sure what the problem is yet, but I'm thinking stones. So, I'm in for a fun filled Thanksgiving weekend. The good news is that I have plenty of Vicodin and tryptophan to ensure good times!

Things I learned from my 1st Vegas bachelor party

I wrote a guest post for GroomsAdvice.com with tips I picked up by attending my 1st Vegas bachelor party. Check it out here (or click the image to go to their site!).

Updates

So, we just moved our wedding date 2 months earlier! We were sitting at lunch the other day and I asked Rebecca "why are we waiting till October to get married?!" Neither of us had a good reason. I think somewhere in the mix we decided that we wanted to get married at night time, so we picked a month where it gets dark earlier. When we decided that we didn't really care about that anymore, we kept the date. We should have moved it a long time ago.

I'm really happy with our new date: August 8th, 2010. It looks nice written out. This is going to definitely be our date. I'm done moving it! Now the fun begins. We just lost 2 months of procrastination!

Here's my current to do list:
- lose weight
- start designing our wedding website/save the dates/invitations
- find music!

There's plenty more on the list, but those are the things at the front of my mind. This is starting to get fun. I finally have more stuff to blog about! Stay tuned.

America's Coolest Small Towns: Cayucos

Just a repost, but a cool one. Cayucos (where we're tying the knot) got voted one of America's coolest small towns by budgettravel.com. Check out this article!

An awesomely geeky invitation!

Thanks to my friend Ben for sending this to me. And before I post it, I just need to give Ben a few props - this is one dude that finds some cool wedding stuff online! One day maybe he'll start posting stuff on Temple of Groom.

Anyway - check out this invitation. It's one of my favorite all time invitations. I love people that actually take time to think about how to make their wedding THEIRS. They aren't trying to impress anyone, they are just thinking how they can inject themselves into every aspect of the wedding. I love it.

Suit Shopping

I'm not ready to buy my Wedding Day Suit, but I at least want to start browsing what's out there. I know that I want something more tailored and form fitting yet a little on the casual side. Something I can wear with sneakers. I've always seen myself in a light gray suit. Rebecca is hoping for a 3 piece suit, and I think that sounds good too, but I'm not opposed to a 2 piece if it's the right suit.

I do know that I want the suit to be something special though. Anyone have any cool places to look for a suit other than the usual Nordstrom, Bloomingdales, K&G, JCrew options. I think I saw something on Etsy where you can have a custom suit made for a REALLY great price...I'll have to find that seller again.

Guys, what did you wear to your wedding? Gals, what did your husband wear?

Wedding Report!

I went to a wedding last weekend in Virginia. We had a great time. The wedding was a really nice event. Every wedding I go to I come away with a few more tips, or ideas. It's the best way to figure out what you want for your own wedding. Here's what I have to report:

- At the tail end of the ceremony the woman officiating commented that golf is a big part of the groom's life. The groomsmen lined up horizontally facing the Chesapeake Bay and in a salute each took a shot off into the water. Then they lined up with their golf clubs and raised them like military swords. The bride and groom walked under the swords and back down the aisle.

It was a great idea for someone that loves golf. A 10 man golf salute. It was the talk of the reception. It really showed me that we should find a way to make the ceremony OURS. Instead of something sterile, we should somehow inject some of US into it.

- So another chapter in the DJ vs Band debate. The band at the wedding was AWESOME. They had a great sound and everyone seemed to enjoy them. I heard "the band is great" multiple times. HOWEVER at the end of the day, more people hit the dance floor when the band took a break and the bride's ipod playlist was plugged in. The guests at the reception were young. A lot of people in their 20s and 30s there... and they LOVED dancing to popular music from right now. The band played music that was a bit older. SO, it showed us that having a band was really great, but music selection is every bit as important.

- The buffet was full of great food. The highlights were lamb chops and a great beef roast. Because there was no seated dinner, that meant that there were no assigned seats. This was nice, but at the end of the day, once you got your meal you had to scurry to find somewhere to sit. The feel of the wedding was very much more cocktail hour-ish as I got the feeling the bride and groom wanted us to get up and dance more than sit down and eat. The vibe was very young and fun.

All in all it was a really great love filled event. You could tell they focused on making sure everyone was having fun. The bride was the first one in the dance circles and yet she made a great effort to go around and talk to everyone in attendance. It was great.

HOWEVER, a quick note to all of my non-Jewish friends out there. Take time and buff up when you go to a Jewish wedding. You will have to lift the bride and groom (and usually their families) up in chairs during Havah Nagilla. When they are lifted in these chairs, you're required to hold them safely in the air... not drop them to the floor. Unfortunately at the wedding this last weekend I witnessed someone get dropped from about 8 feet up... Unbelievably this was the first time in my life I've ever seen someone get dropped. I've been going to bar/bat-mitzvahs and weddings for years and never saw this happen. I'm now incredibly paranoid. I'm going to go on a diet to help you all out, but please do your part and try not to drop me. If you have weak arms, perhaps you sit this one out....

Another Wedding this Weekend!

My cousin is getting married this weekend and I'm excited to get to another wedding. It's always great to see family, but I'm also excited to see the wedding.

I'll report to you on Monday!

Raining in LA

So, our wedding is in October of next year, and I must admit - this rain (in October) has me nervous about our outdoor wedding.

Dress Code

Can someone please explain to me what all the different dress codes mean? I mean I know that black tie means dress fancy, but what falls under the category of black tie? Tux? A dark suit with a white shirt and a black tie? If it says "Black tie optional" what are my options?! I know I can probably find this online somewhere if I google it, but that wouldn't be fun for the rest of us and I would be depriving people all over who are as clueless as I am!

Black tie, black tie optional, semi-formal, cocktail attire, formal, semi-casual, business attire.... the list goes on and on... Someone please come to the rescue and solve the riddle!

Wedding Checklist

I got the email from "The Knot" - we've got 1 year until our wedding. While many people will scoff and say that that's an eternity of planning time, I start to feel like we're behind. Is that ridiculous?

Here's what we've gotten done:
- Picked a wedding date
- Committed mentally & financially to a venue
- Rebecca has her dress
- We've both got our wedding rings
- We have a Rabbi
- I bought a screen printer to do our invitations
- Picked colors

Here's the major stuff we have to do:
- Book a photographer (anyone know any good up and comers that need a wedding under his/her belt and would love to get some good ol' blog advertising?!)
- Book dueling pianist (see above parenthetical)
- Create invitations, wedding info website, & save the dates
- Think about wedding decorations (centerpieces, chupa, etc)
- Register for gifts (how far before the wedding do people do this? I'm thinking it's when the save the dates go out?)

I'm sure there's a ton that I'm forgetting that we have to do... and I bet Ms. Temple of Groom will remind me of stuff that we've done that I didn't list. This is just the stuff that's on my mind.

So, don't hold back... how behind are we? Tell me like it is... I don't need you to sugarcoat.

MOVING!!!!

Hey everyone - I just wanted to post to tell you that I miss you and that I think about you often. I'm in the process of renovating my house and getting ready to move in. We move this Saturday and I just can't believe it. The house isn't QUITE ready but, we want to move in NOW!

If anyone wants to come over to help paint tonight I'd really appreciate it. I've been working at the house for about 14 hours a day, and I just haven't been able to blog lately (as you can tell). The good news is that I just got internet here today, so everything is ready for when I move!

Miss you all.........

How to Get Your Fiance Involved: Chapter Two

Compromise

Missouri did it, why can't you? Am I right, or am I right? Ahhh, 1800's history humor, gotta love it.

As the dawn of the football season approaches, think about how you feel every time we squash our Sunday plans for 16 straight weeks (not including playoffs). At first you are cool with letting us go to the bar to watch the game. Then by the 3rd or 4th week, it's grown a bit stale. By week 7 or 8 you are enraged that we've ruined one entire day of your weekend and don't understand how and why we want to do the same thing every weekend. Then by week 9 you completely give up. You stop trying to plan things on Sunday and just accept that this is the way it must be for another couple weeks. You join us and celebrate the Superbowl because you're so happy you only have 1 hour of actual football playing time (which in girl time translates to roughly 2 days) left in the season.

With weddings, it's the exact same thing for guys. The first few suggestions we make, we understand why you shot them down. We get it. You didn't want me to wear rocket shoes to propel myself down the aisle. The video woulda gone viral, but yeh, understood. The next few ideas we've got that get shut down we start to get annoyed. Is she just cutting me out of planning all together? Once you shoot down the 3rd batch of opinions we've got, we get enraged, but it's completely silent. You misconstrue our silence as us not caring. When we get enraged about getting everything we suggest shut down, we shut off. We stop worrying about wedding stuff all together. We attend the wedding (aka the Superbowl) because we're so happy we have a few hours left of listening to stuff about weddings.

So, how do we avoid this shutdown all together? The answer is compromise. I think that a lot of the problem is trust. Ladies, trust your groom a little more. Take a look at your left hand. He just picked out that rock for you and you LOVE it. He managed to do that by himself. You should trust that some of his ideas may not be so bad. And guys, realize that not EVERY one of your ideas is going to get accepted. It's just the way things work.

If you find it hard to compromise, fear not, I've invented a great rule to live by. Whenever I started researching weddings on the internet I started looking up articles on how to plan while you're on a budget. The majority of the articles are all the same. They suggest picking out 3 items to splurge on (ie the venue, the food, the entertainment) then completely scaling back everything else. I realized that the same can be said about wedding decisions and compromising. Brides, pick 3 things that you will absolutely not compromise. A few items that you want to have done your way. Then, compromise everywhere else. If you desperately had your heart set on a certain centerpiece or wedding colors, or a venue, mark those off as your definitive decisions. Every other decision, you let him help. This doesn't mean that you let him plan everything else. I'm not saying that. But, what I am saying is that you've just given him an open avenue to spitball his ideas. This will have him actively thinking about the wedding in between times he's setting his fantasy football roster.

What do you do when he suggest you have nachos and hot wings at the wedding? You already picked your 3 "I pick only" items and food was not on the list. You can't shoot him down immediately but you don't want to turn your reception into a dive bar. You can still tell him no, but be a little political in the way you do it. "I don't think we should do nachos and hot wings, but I get what you're going for... you want familiar items like bar food at the wedding. Wouldn't it be fun if we did some sort of passed appetizer that's a play on a hot wing? Maybe fancy version of a hot wing?" This is what he hears "she's not saying no, she's not saying no....FANCY HOT WING!" Take his ideas and make them work for your wedding.

The bottom line is that there are things you should and shouldn't fight for. I wear my low top converse chucks just about every day. That's who I am. Rebecca made a great move when she was excited for me when I wanted to wear them with my suit at our wedding. She could have said "Oh man, it'll ruin the pictures!" But she chose her battles wisely. She knew that this would be a personal victory for me and I will continue to help her out planning!

At the end of the day, I admit, we have some pretty bad suggestions, but you have to realize that we think you have some pretty bad ideas too. When we both can admit that, that's when we'll harmonize and come up with the best wedding possible.

stay tuned for chapter 3...

It's Official!

We took a day trip to Cayucos, California yesterday and booked our wedding venue and date! Cayucos is a beautiful small beach town about 3 hours and 15 minutes north of Los Angeles. We're going to get married and have our reception at this awesome bed & breakfast called The Cass House Inn. They're awesome, and PLENTY of more details about them will follow on this blog. The venue is just us. We also locked in the date October 3rd, 2010. So we got a lot done yesterday! See guys, when I don't post and I tell you it's because I'm busy, I'm not lying!

Also, if you ever find yourself in Cayucos do yourself a favor, go eat at Ruddell's Smokehouse . It's a fish smokehouse. We ate there yesterday and the sandwiches we had easily cracked our top 10 sandwich of all time list. It was smokey, and sweet, and just incredible. Once you're finished with your sandwich, walk over to Brown Butter Cookie Company for a couple cookies. Their honey & sea salt cookie is quite possibly the best cookie I've ever had in my life.

stay tuned for pictures & more details...

Sorry!

I've got so much on my plate right now (wedding related & other stuff) that I have abandoned the blog for a week! I'm so sorry, there just aren't enough hours in the day. Which is another thing, I think I need a prescription for some ambien. I'm not sleeping at night!

On the top of the "to do list", we're about to get possession of our house, and it's jut been a LOT of prep work! I promise I'll be back blogging soon. Hopefully I will write something later today. I just want to give everyone QUALITY. Sure I could post a thousand times a day, but you guys deserve better than that.

In Case You Missed It: View from the Bay Appearance!

If you missed my appearance on "View from the Bay" yesterday, here it is! It was my first in-studio TV appearance, so go easy on me! For all my friends in my fantasy football leagues, feel free to rip the footage and edit it!

TUNE IN TODAY!!

If you live in San Francisco, tune into ABC 7 @ 3pm (pst) today. I will be interviewed on a show called "The View from the Bay".

If you DON'T live in San Francisco you can watch live online by clicking the link below! For all you people on the east coast, it's 6pm-7pm. West coast, it's 3-4pm.

How to Get Your Fiance Involved: Chapter One

Prologue: I've received quite a few emails from brides-to-be asking how to get their fiances involved in the wedding planning. It's not an easy task, but it can be done. I've decided to write a manual on HOW it can be done. I think the majority of women are forcing and pulling help out of their men the wrong way. If you follow a few easy steps, you'll find the help you're looking for.

Chapter One: You're Overwhelming Us With Details

Dear Women,

We're very excited about getting married too. We wouldn't have asked your hand in marriage if we weren't excited to get married. As much as you don't think we're stoked, we're actually looking forward to the wedding too. We're interested in everything you're showing us in "Modern Bride", "Martha Stewart Weddings", and "In Style: Weddings" but you've really got to slow down.... you're overwhelming us.

Love Always,

Your Fiances

It's true. You're throwing too much in front of us as soon as we get engaged. After I got engaged, I quickly realized I should have given my fiance the ring AND a stack of wedding magazines. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing your enthusiasm. I'm just saying we're a bit different. We're about to enter a world of wedding planning where just about everything looks foreign to us. We've never even really thought about our weddings and you've been planning since you were a little girl. If you want our help, you should start slowly.

The best thing you can do is tell your fiance that he's about to throw one of the the biggest parties of his life (I don't know how much your man partied in college). While it's more upscale than his "red cup" parties he threw in the past, you want your wedding to be fun and memorable. He'll help you with that!

For now, let's skip details like colors, centerpieces, and what flowers to use. Let's start with things we're really interested in: musical entertainment, food & alcohol, and the photographer.

Let him give his advice on whether to hire a DJ or a band. I promise he'll have an opinion about the music. Tell him to start making one of his famous playlists. Chances are he probably gave you a mix tape/cd when he was trying to win you over - let him start making one for the wedding. Discuss the broad strokes. For example, pick the type of music/band/dj you want, let's not stress about "first dance songs", or father/daughter son/mother songs yet.

Give him the task of finding a great signature cocktail for the wedding. While everyone drank the Jungle Juice at his parties in the past he'll know that he's got to find something more widely liked (and less alcoholic than turpentine). Ask him what TYPE of food he envisions at the wedding. Does he see a sit down meal or a buffet? Has he ever eaten something at another wedding he liked?

Wedding photography has come a long way lately. I didn't know that some of the photography could look so cool. Let him know that you can have traditional portrait photography or the more candid journalistic style. Show him the difference. I was shocked to see that some photographers out there have really turned your big day into art. Looking through other people's great photos actually got me more excited about my wedding too.

Starting slowly will get us more involved in the long run. We're not looking to be talked to like children, but we don't have opinions on wedding details yet! We've just gotten over the mammoth task of proposing. Give us a small breather. If you start slowly we'll want to voice opinions in other places later down the road. Even if we don't... and chapter 1 is as far as you make it with your fiance... it's still more help than you had before.

...stay tuned for chapter 2...

Panasonic Camera & TV Giveaway!!!

Panasonic Living In HD (LiHD) is having a GREAT contest that you should all head over and enter! All you have to do is upload an inspirational summer wedding photo and you'll have a chance to win your choice of an awesome $1500 SLR Digital Camera, or an $1800 50" Plasma TV! The theme will change every week - "Great American Roadtrip", "Vacations for Two", and lastly "Food Creations". You can enter once a day for the next 4 weeks, but the "Wedding" theme ends on the 16th. Hurry over there now!

Check it out!: End of Summer Celebration Giveaway!

Your close friends are DRUNKS! (Poll Results)

Poll Results are in! The question asked was "Who is likely to get the most intoxicated at your wedding?". Your Close Friends were the run away...victors? ....no.... drunkards! Here are the results:

1. Close Friends (31%) - I figured they'd be up there! It's really the reason we all go to weddings for our friends, right? First question is always "are they having an open bar?".

2. Best Man (25%) - You gotta get a little "loose" to give that best man speech, right?

3. Parents (10%) - Hey, the kid is not your responsibility anymore, right?! Time to celebrate!

4. Bride (7%) - All you brides who said "I'm only going to have one or two drinks were lying, huh?.

Aunt/Uncle (7%) - Glad we didn't have to pay for this wedding! Coulda been our kid!

5. Cousins (6%) - We got drunk at their weddings, why shouldn't they get drunk at ours!

6. Groom (3%) - Thought this would be higher up on the list, it was going to be my excuse - "Groom came in 3rd in the poll! Why can't I get drunk?!!?"

Maid of Honor (3%) - Guess the girls don't have to get as drunk as the guys to give the speech!

7&8. Someone that got a pity invite & Other (2% & 1%) - who cares....

Btw, I thought I'd post a picture from the future... this will be me at the next wedding (only I'll be wearing nicer clothes)

Embarrassing Myself for Followers!

Do you want to see pictures of me pre nose job? Hear what I sounded like at 12 as a voice in a Christian cartoon? How about seeing my high school senior picture, or WORSE pictures when I had long hair?

I've decided that every time I reach 100 new Temple of Groom followers I will post something completely embarrassing from my past. It could be a terrible picture of me (there's one that's been described as looking Gilbert Gottfried-esque), embarrassing childhood footage, there is no end to the amount of stuff I wouldn't want to show! BUT, I'd love to see the blog successful, so I have to make this sacrifice!

Sign up to follow the blog - it's easy and will only take a second. Under the facebook logo, on the left side of the blog, you'll see "BECOME A TEMPLE OF GROOM FOLLOWER!" You can log in with your google account, your instant messenger name, your yahoo account, or blogger account.

Right now I have 61 followers. 39 more followers and you all can laugh your ass off. Forward the blog to your friends! Thanks!

Whistling?

Does anyone actually like listening to someone else whistle? To me, it's by far one of the most irritating sounds ever. It's so much worse than nails on a chalkboard.

I know, this has nothing to do with weddings, but there seems to be an abnormal amount of whistling on set today!

To Drink or Not to Drink...

My poll got me thinking... will I drink at my wedding? Ms Temple of Groom vows that she'll likely only have 1 drink (probably just a glass of champagne). I, on the other hand, am leaning towards being a little buzzed. How often will I ever have all of my friends and loved ones in one room together partying? I think I'm definitely going to keep myself in line, but I think I'm going to let loose a little. If I have to dance all night, then I better be tipsy...I find my groove WAY easier.

Anyone have an opinion about this? Did you drink at your wedding?

"The Daily Buzz" Interview!

If you missed it, here it is!!! Temple of Groom hits on TV. Enjoy my first, but hopefully not my last interview.

(fast forward to :34seconds to skip all the promos)

It's an exciting day at TOG!

Top Chef - Top Centerpieces

Check out these awesome centerpieces from Top Chef Masters last Wednesday night! I've always been a big fan of candles over flowers. It seems like a good way to save money, and I just love the way they look. After I saw this, however, I'm ready to add flowers back into the mix if we can afford it. I love the combination of flowers AND candles, and I LOVE the light bulb chandelier over the table. (Anyone ever seen this chandelier for sale, or is it just something you can DIY quite easily?!) I thought I'd share this with you all because I think it's pretty stinkin flawless.... kudos Top Chef.

TOG Official Trainer: Jonathan Beran

Getting in shape for a wedding is mandatory. I want to look great on my big day. I know myself, and I can't do this without calling for help. Well, Temple of Groom brought in the big guns.
I'm stoked to announce that personal trainer Jonathan Beran has joined the team and he's here to help ALL of us that want to get in shape.

Jon trained Hayden Panettiere (the cheerleader from "Heroes") and she looks pretty good! He will post on the blog from time to time and give us helpful information on getting in shape. Whether it's for your big day, or just because you want to shed some weight, his info is great.

LASTLY, and probably most importantly, Jon told me that he will give SPECIAL LOW RATES to any Temple of Groom follower! Also, and this is a great idea, Jon is giving very low rates to engaged couples! Visit Jon's site to get in contact with him. Just mention the blog to get the low rates.

Lastly, I asked Jon to come up with 3 VERY easy tips for an out of shape guy to look better in a suit (let's start simple). Here they are:

1. Split your big meals into 2 smaller meals, and eat small meals every 3 - 4 hours instead of big meals every 5 - 6 hours.
   
2. Even going for a 45 minute walk can help! Getting to a gym is obviously the best, but putting forth any effort a few times a week DOES help!
3. Make sure your suit fits and stand up straight! Any guy can make a suit look good as long as it's properly tailored to fit you well.
   

If anyone has questions or comments for Jon, feel free to email me, or leave them as a comment! Welcome aboard Jon!!

Jon's site: http://jonathanfitness.com/

What's in a name?

Anyone else hate the word "fiancé"? I mean look at it. It even LOOKS smug.

Every time I talk about Ms. Temple of Groom I despise knowing that somewhere in the upcoming sentence I'll have to use the word fiancé. I really wish there was another word that described what she is.

Possible options presented to me have been terrible. Future wife and bride to be seem to be the alternates. Terrible. She's going to kill me for this, but I'm totally guilty of calling her my girlfriend after we got engaged. Not on accident either. Because I feel like SUCH a jerk when I say "fiancé". I'm definitely not hiding the fact that I'm engaged, and I truly love that I am, so if this is one of the rules in "He's just not that into you" give me a break.

Does anyone like this word? I even hate typing it on my phone because it keeps auto correcting me and adding the damn accent over the "e". What a jerk this word is. Any suggestions other than "get over it Dave"?

TUNE IN MONDAY!

Just a quick shameless plug for myself because I'm excited!!

I'm going to be on a nationally televised morning talk show called "The Daily Buzz" on Monday morning. Tune in @ 8:45am EST. Check your local listings for which channel it's on, but if you don't get the show, you can always tune in online @ http://dailybuzznow.com/.

The show reaches 58% of the country and over 66 million households. Thank god I scheduled a haircut tomorrow. I literally have a helmet of hair on my head right now.


Additionally, I'll be on the show via skype... if anyone has any good hints for looking good on webcam, let me know!

Awkward + Wedding Photography x 2

Happy Monday morning to you all. Well, in a small game of "one-upmanship", Ms. Temple of Groom has bested my "most awkward wedding photo". This one doesn't even need a caption to make it funny. Enjoy.

Awkward + Wedding Photography

One of the most awkward wedding photographs I've seen in a while! Candid?...maybe. Staged?...probably. Weird? definitely!
Submit your best caption in the comments below to win a prize!!

I now understand why rehearsals are needed!

While we're on the subject of the Rehearsal Dinner, it got me thinking, why even HAVE a rehearsal?! I mean we've all seen enough weddings to understand how it all works. He walks, she walks, they listen to the Rabbi (or priest or friend that got his license on the internet), then they walk out together smiling... easy. I'd like to think that I'm fairly good at walking. I mean, I haven't gone PRO, but I think I could have - anyway, I never understood why one needed to rehearse...

....until now. Check out this video. It's GREAT.

Totally worth all of the rehearsing. I love it all. I bet that was a really fun reception.


ps. before I get yelled at in the comments, I do understand why to rehearse the wedding, and Rebecca, I know I'm not going to have a dance party down the aisle procession

Rehearsal Dinner guest list

Who gets an invite to the rehearsal dinner? While the true answer is "invite whomever you want", there seem to be several schools of thought on the issue.

1. Invite only those in the wedding party
2. Invite those in the wedding party and out of town guests
3. Invite those in the wedding party, close family not in the wedding, and out of town guests
4. Invite everyone

It seems while the economy has fallen on tough times, the rehearsal dinner is something that has fallen under the budget cutting knife. People seem to be scaling way back on the rehearsal dinner. Right now I see and agree with all sides of this debate. One minute I understand the importance of having a big rehearsal dinner with a large guest list, then the next I question why you have to throw a mini-wedding reception the night before the wedding reception. That's why I'm turning to you... help me. What are your thoughts on rehearsal dinner guest lists?

Attending a Wedding While Planning a Wedding

This past weekend I attended a wedding while planning a wedding for the first time. It's an entirely different ballgame. You assess and critique EVERYTHING. The usual Post-Wedding Hungover version of myself normally has no clue what my fiance is talking about the next morning when she remembers the dresses, the centerpieces, the programs, etc. The morning after, I'm lucky if I remember the wedding colors, and am doubly lucky if I don't puke from the overexertion of trying to remember colors mixed w/ alcohol poisoning. I kid, I kid...

Even though I drank as much as I normally do this last weekend, I can recall every detail of the wedding. I assume that's because this is the first time I really SAW them. Even though we got drunk enough for Ms. Temple of Groom to randomly talk in a renaissance era accent (I'm not joking, at one point she couldn't find me so she was asking all our friends where her "liege"was) I remember everything. I feel like a superhero after the accident that gave him all of his super powers. In this case imagine a giant wedding planning book dropping on me from space in a vineyard (that's where the wedding took place). I climb out in a tattered suit and yell "I REMEMBER EVERY DETAIL!!!! THE COLORS WERE BURNT ORANGE AND CREAM! PASS ME ANOTHER FRIED RISOTTO BALL!!!" I admit, not the sexiest superpower, but it's a start.

Anyway, yes, attending a wedding while you're in the early planning stages is totally a different experience and it's actually an extremely beneficial experience too. You're looking for new ideas, seeing what worked, seeing what didn't work. You learn so much. Perhaps the best thing I saw at this wedding was the table assignment cards. Instead of getting a piece of paper w/ your name and table assignment on it, the bride and groom wrote a really heartfelt letter to each person/couple. It was such a nice touch. I've never seen that before. What are the rules about stealing this idea?! Another great tidbit I learned from the wedding was born from tragedy. Apparently before the reception the venue noticed the centerpieces kept blowing over (the winds in central CA are pretty gusty!) so the bride had them pull the centerpieces from the tables. That taught us if we're going to DIY our centerpieces, and have an outdoor wedding, we need to take wind into consideration. Also it showed me that a table didn't look lost w/o a grand centerpiece. A centerpiece can be small, simple, classy, and sturdy and be just fine! Lastly, Rebecca and I have always worried about planning something after the reception, or having ideas for our friends who want to afterparty. After the reception last Saturday we realized we no longer have to worry about that. If you have booze hungry adults they will find alcohol on their own. We got them as far as we needed to take them, they are responsible for the rest. WE were able to find the one bar still open in Solvang w/o the bride and groom worrying about us! So we'll do the same.

Food, Glorious Food

I'm going to a wedding this weekend, and as I sit at my desk, starving for lunch, I can only think about what type of food they'll serve. I'm positive I marked "Beef" months ago, when I rsvp-ed, but I'm daydreaming about what kind of beef, what kind of passed hors d'oeuvres will there be, maybe there's food planning to be there that I don't even know about! I'm excited. It got me thinking though, do any of you have a wish list of foods you'll see at a wedding?

There is, however, one item that makes a guest appearance every so often that literally makes me do a jig when I see it: the huge tower of shrimp cocktail. The most delicious oxymoron there ever was, the jumbo shrimp pyramid. I've been known to devour 3 dozen shrimp before cocktail hour is over. Call me George Costanza, I don't care. My dad and I stand with our backs to the shrimp table as if we've yet to see it, and one of us will casually say "Did you know they had a jumbo shrimp cocktail tower?". The other will subtly act surprised when he turns to see it. It's a beautiful dance we do once our appetizer plates are empty.



Other notables on the "Dream Team" of wedding reception food I'm compiling in my head are:

• a table w/ various cheeses and meats (sausages, prosciutto, etc)
• some sort of mini crab cake (one that doesn't try to be a Maryland crab cake, perhaps one that has some sort of asian inspired dipping sauce)
• perhaps some sort of salmon (or bacon) wrapped around a piece of asparagus
• a nicely cooked, and cut, steak (I'm fine with roasts, but an actual steak is on the dream team)
• desserts other than cake
  
• a signature drink (I like the thought of having one more than the drink most of the time!)

What foods make your list? Did I leave anything out?!

Mason Jars = Awesome

Does anyone else think mason jars are awesome?
I may need to "borrow" this idea! I think this looks so cool. Our wedding is at night so the more candles/twinkle lights I think the better. I'm thinking we'll go to a flea market and buy a bunch of different types of jars and do a variation of this idea!

LIFE Gets Married

...and I get sweet sweet vindication!

LIFE Magazine posted some great vintage pictures of famous weddings and one in particular caught my eye. Take a look at this picture of JFK's wedding and the caption LIFE has written about it, and tell me what's rightfully missing from the wedding day equation.

"Sitting Down to Dinner"
"The Kennedys enjoy a bridal meal of fruit cup, creamed chicken, and ice cream sculpted to resemble roses, 1953." -LIFE Magazine

So... what's missing? A CAKE!!!!!!! Ah HA! No cake! If ice cream (or at least a different and, in my opinion, much better dessert) is good enough for JFK, an American icon, it's good enough for me! Case closed. Look at this quote I dug up (made up) on the internet from President Kennedy.

"We choose to go to the reception. We choose to go to the reception in this decade and not have cake. Not because it's easier and cheaper, but because there are other desserts, because that goal will organize and measure the best of our creativity and taste.

And so my fellow Americans, ask not what you can do for your baker or pastry chef, ask what your baker or pastry chef can do for you!

I had a dream, and it was a reception without cake! Read my lips, no new cake! Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall of cake! I did not have sexual relations with that cake. A reception without cake, YES WE CAN"

-President John F. Kennedy

Wow... he said all of that stuff... fact. And he had Marilyn Monroe, so I think that pretty much wins it for everyone who voted "Not cake" in the first Temple of Groom poll. His vote counts more....

Wedding Ring - check!

So, today I can officially cross another item off of the "Wedding To-Do List". I have my wedding ring!

Ms. Temple of Groom had a great idea: wear my grandfather's wedding ring. It's a pretty great idea because my grandfather has always been an inspiration throughout my life. I called my parents, and they shipped the ring.

The cool thing is that it's pretty much exactly what I was looking for. It's plain platinum and not very shiny. I tried it on, and it actually fits pretty perfectly. I hate wearing anything on my fingers so I think I just have to get used to it.

Even though I know I have to wear a ring, I never have looked forward to it. Not because I don't want people to know I'm married - I have a WEDDING BLOG I obviously don't care if people know I'm going to get married - I just don't love the look or feel of wearing a ring. This was a good way to make me pretty excited to wear a ring. Also, it was a great way to cut costs on something that didn't really matter to me all that much. It has more meaning to me now though! Brides, if your groom isn't looking forward to wearing a ring, pitch this idea. It's the only thing that would have worked for me!

Temple of Groom - Best New Wedding Blog!

Wow! I just got an email from Wedding Blog Awards letting me know that Temple of Groom has won "Best New Wedding Blog"! That's pretty exciting. I wish I had prepared some sort of speech. (pulls a speech from his jacket pocket...)

Unreal! Who would have thought 27 years ago that I would one day win the "Best New Wedding Blog" award? Certainly not me! Through the ups and the downs, the twists and the turns, my family has always been there for me. For that, I thank them. Without their love and support I would never have had the courage to turn the laptop on and write a blog. There are so many times in life where people tell you that you CAN'T do things. That you WON'T do things. (the crowd starts to "boo") No, no, hear me out. (the crowd hushes) To the people that told me I couldn't, or wouldn't, I thank you too. Your negativity was my catalyst to prove you wrong. It's a fact that 95% of all wedding blogs are written by women. People doubted that this could be done by a man. (start tearing up) People called me... (almost lose it)...people called me (pause) Ah, I told myself I wouldn't get emotional. (now pull it together) People called me names and said I was stupid for writing a blog. Who's stupid now?! (Applause!) I won't allow your bloggetry (wink) to get me down!

To my loving fiance, Rebecca: (hold up award) We did it baby!! (hold for applause and camera close up on Rebecca) Without you I wouldn't have started the blog. I'm so happy I had the idea, and then you supported me every step of the way! Ernie thank you for not barking too much while I needed to sit down and write something, and thank you for letting me take some cute pictures of you!

Gosh, I know I'm forgetting a whole bunch of people to thank! Thank you to WeddingBlogAwards.com for bestowing this prestigious award upon me. And most importantly, thank YOU, my fans, my followers, anyone that has made a comment, and anyone who has ever visited the blog. (crowd roars) Without you this blog would just be something I do for myself. I write this as an outlet for myself, sure, but hopefully in some way it's an outlet for you too. I love you all. Lastly, I want to take a moment to thank someone special. This person has helped creatively along the way, and I think he should be thanked. He's a great guy and I want him to know one day we'll blog his wedding! To my good friend Ni..(music plays me off so I don't get to finish but I don't care I'm just so happy!)

Anyway - that's just a little something that I happened to have in my pocket in case the situation ever came up! Go see my honor on the website by clicking the picture below!

Back to Work

Brides, how do you possibly plan a wedding while you have a job? I've been back to work for the last 2 days and have looked at zero of my wedding planning blogs.

How do you do it?

Need a Tie?

This site has some pretty good ones if you're looking!

Grooms generally buy the ties for their groomsmen, and this seems like a pretty decent place to do it. Or if you just need something for yourself, check it out.

Snazzy.

"He's just not that into you"

This has absolutely nothing to do with wedding planning at all, but I felt that it should be noted:

The movie "He's just not that into you" is quite possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. We rented it this weekend, because we love watching mindless movies. What it resulted in was feeling completely depressed about relationships in general.

The wedding is still on.... but BARELY! (not because the movie made me skeptical about relationships - but because it was Rebecca's idea to rent it)

What SHOULD I be doing?

Okay, so we're 14.5 months away from our wedding. THAT'S most likely the real reason I haven't been Bloggy McBloggerson lately. Honestly, if there's something I should be planning right now or we'll be WAY far behind, please tell me. This isn't even guy lingo for "Holy Eff, we're 14 months away and we're ALREADY talking wedding stuff. Get off my back woman." This is just normal person talk for "We aren't in the thick of things yet, so let's just have some fun enjoying the calm before the storm".

However, here's a list of what we've gotten done though (I think we've got a good start):
- Bought a Gocco to eventually do invites/programs/thank you cards/etc
- Bought the wedding dress!
- Picked our colors
- Picked our date
- Bought Ernie a tie for the wedding!
- Saw what potentially will be our wedding venue

So I know that's not a lot when it comes to weddings, but people (including my cousin & his wife who just had an AWESOME wedding) can pull together a wedding in like less than 8 months, I gotta believe we can figure this out in the next 15.

Anything off topic anyone wants to talk about?

Video Save-The-Dates?

Thanks to Maria for sending this one to me. I think a video Save-The-Date is a cool idea. The two in the video below did a great job! I guess you would send everyone a dvd? Or maybe just an email with a youtube link? I wonder how the older guests would view it. True story, I burned a copy of a video onto a DVD for an older woman a couple weeks ago, and when I handed the dvd to her it took her about 10 minutes to understand that she could put it into her dvd player or computer and watch a video. She kept thinking it was pictures on a cd. I kept saying "no, it's video", you can watch a movie on it. I guess I should have just said this in an old timey voice: "It's talkies, see... moving pictures, see! You get me? Put this in your dvd box and you'll have a real gas!"

Anyway - check out the youtube save the date and let me know what you think!

Have a good weekend!

Totally off topic, but who cares, it's MY blog! Enjoy the pics of my pup Ernie, and wish him luck - tomorrow he gets "fixed".




My sister was in town for the last couple weeks so that's why things have been a little slow on the blog. Next week back to normal!

Love you all, have a great weekend!

Wedding Dress?... Check!

Everything else?..... yeeeeah, we've still gotta get around to everything else. But at least Ms. Temple of Groom got her wedding dress this weekend, right?! It's a good start.

My sister is in town from NY and my fiance thought it'd be a great opportunity to start looking at dresses. She did a quick round up of some relatives and close girlfriends, and before she knew it, she was in wedding gowns. For those of you wondering, I did not go with them. We always said I'd most likely see her dress before our wedding day, but for some reason actually GOING and watching her try on the dresses seems a tad overboard. Maybe it's the episode of "Rich Bride, Poor Bride" I just watched where the groom wanted to pick out the dress with his bride... it just seemed controlling and a tad creepy.

Anyway, I got a call from my sister while the group was on its way to the 2nd dress boutique. The first store was a total bust. My fiance never felt like traditional wedding gowns were for her, and the first batch of 20 dresses she tried on confirmed that for her. She felt like a total poser of a bride. The dress she originally wanted was not right for her and I was already preparing to do damage control when she got back home. I was almost out the door to pick up 50 twix bars and a bottle of wine when I got a text from my sister "we found something amazing".

Guys, if you live in Los Angeles or San Francisco, send your brides to The Glamour Closet. Since the beginning of my blog, I think this is the most valuable nugget of info I've written about. It could save you THOUSANDS of dollars. I'm not exaggerating. The Glamour Closet is a boutique that sells designer dresses that were displays in showrooms, runway samples, or overstock from other boutiques. All the dresses are brand new. It's a great way for brides to get their dream dresses without spending the dream dress price. Trust me, we don't have Monique Lhuillier dream dress money, but Ms. Temple of Groom was able to find the perfect dress and couldn't be happier.

A couple updates - I will NOT see the dress (either on the rack, or on my fiance) before the wedding. If you missed what my fiance commented on my post regarding whether or not it's cool for a groom to have wedding dress input or see the dress here is what she said:

Well, I already know that you will most likely see a photo of the dress before the wedding. (considering I've sent you every link of dresses I like so far). Also, I know me well enough to know that probably on one lazy saturday afternoon, when we are just laying around, not showered, eating take out and watching movies, I will probably decide to try it on for you. Is that so bad?

She's singing a much different tune now. That's how I knew that this is "the dress". She has forbidden me to see it, see pictures of it, and most of all see her in it. Over the weekend she somehow became a real bride! She's more excited to get married than ever. I'm telling you guys, if you are looking for a designer dress but are on a budget - or even if you want an awesome dress but don't want to spend retail, go to the Glamour Closet. She's been gushing ever since she went.

Lastly, and most importantly, I'm happy to report that the dress isn't so formal that I can't wear my Converse Chucks with my suit. So this weekend was a total win.

15 Months

Today marks exactly 15 months till our wedding. I only know this because The Knot sent an email to tell me. It kind of gave me a mild panic attack. I know that 15 months is an eternity when it comes to wedding planning, but for some reason it caught me off guard this morning. It just seems like such a short time to me.

So, thanks "The Knot". You've just given me another reason to punch you when we finally meet.

A cool way to end the night

How'd you end your reception? Did you have people throw rice, release doves, hold sparklers, shoot fireworks, or just wave goodbye? Lately, sparklers seem to be the trend. They're priced right AND drunk people love to write their names in sparks in front of themselves. However, if you're having an evening wedding, and don't want sparklers, I came across something kind of cool...

Check these out: Sky Lanterns

They are like mini hot air balloons. You light them, and in like 10 seconds they float up and away. They are completely biodegradable and will not harm any animals. They sell wedding packs of 100 sky lanterns that vary in size. It seems like a really cool way to end the night. I already emailed the company to see if you could potentially tie the lanterns and have them hover above your reception illuminating it - and I got yelled at by the company. They told me "Sky Lanterns should never be tied down and are meant to fly!". (I have some friends that live by the same philosophy!)

Anyway - just thought I'd share this with you guys. Even though you can fly these lanterns anywhere, if we do a wedding near the beach I think it would be a cool way to end the night. It would certainly make for some pretty cool pictures!

I get the hint "The Knot" newsletter...

...you think I'm gay. I know I signed up for your service AND your newsletter, but that doesn't mean you have to send me "Top 10 Wedding Day Makeup Tips!", and "Wedding Dress Dos & Don'ts". I told you I'm the groom... I told you I'm a guy... you don't need to send me EVERY newsletter.

I get what you're trying to tell me, and I love that you're including me on everything, but I promise, I'm just a guy that loves planning his wedding. I am definitely against Prop 8, but even gay guys I know probably don't even care about wedding day makeup tips.

If you keep this up, I'm going to have to quit you....

While I'm thinking about gifts...

...what are some "off the beaten track" items you registered for? Anything fun other than new plates/silverware/blenders?

If not, what's been the best thing you registered for? Was there anything on your list that you said "No way in hell someone will buy that for us" and next thing you knew it was delivered to your place?

No time like the PRESENTS!

When it comes to wedding planning, there's one thing I'm DEFINITELY looking forward to - creating the gift registry. I can't wait to get to a store, get that registry gun in my hand, and just start zapping items I can't live without. I think the Beatles said it best "Happiness is a warm gun".

As much as I can't wait to get into a store and start shooting, I just saw a new way to do things that may keep me home. You can now register on amazon.com. They have an area of their website dedicated to wedding registries! The best part of the service is that amazon installs a "Put on Registry" button onto your browser. You don't have to find your gifts on their site. You can be on ANY store online. No matter how big or small. Any time you see something you want online you can click the "Add to my Amazon Registry" button and the item seamlessly gets added to your registry. For example, you could be on the Williams Sonoma site, see a kitchen gadget you need, and add it to your Amazon registry! It's incredible. The entire internet is at your fingertips and accessible for your registry.

What do you guys think of the idea? Incredible right?

Holiday Weekend Wedding?

With Memorial Day weekend just ending, I've got holiday weekends on the mind. What does everyone think about having a wedding (or attending a wedding) on a holiday weekend? We're thinking of having our wedding on Labor Day weekend of 2010. Before you call us jerks, hear me out...

You have to keep in mind that it's tough for Jews because we can't get married on Saturday unless it's like an hour after sun down. SO if you do that, then you're getting married at like 8pm, having a cocktail hour from 8:30-9:30, then starting the reception. Many places we've looked require music to be cut off at 10pm. So, there goes the party.

So we want to get married on a Sunday. But then it's tough for family/friends back east. They come out here, have to take a Monday off work.....so a holiday weekend is what we're thinking.

I know it makes travel a little more pricey...but it may be our only option to have a wedding people can attend. What does everyone think? Are Holiday Weekend weddings okay?

Possible Wedding Venue #1

Last weekend we took a mini road trip up the California coast to take a look at a possible wedding venue. Initially, I'm completely sold. No painted swastikas on the front of the building! Sure they've never had a Jewish wedding there, but I can't completely hold that against them. The chosen people just haven't wandered to the venue yet.

Anyway, we had a great day. Without telling you guys exactly where it is (I don't want to jinx it - if you really want to play Carmen San Diego I'm sure you can figure out where the place is), I'll tell you about the place.

So, the venue is about 3-4 hours north of Los Angeles. It's a drive, but it's actually a really cool drive. We passed the hills that the Santa Barbara fires destroyed. It was pretty devastating.
We finally got to the small beach town and were happy to see that it has so much charm. It feels like what I'd imagine Hermosa Beach or Manhattan Beach used to be like back in the day. Don't get me wrong, it's not dated and old, it's just a little more laid back and less "scene-y".

The venue is directly on the main and only street that runs through the town and pretty much directly across the street from the pier/beach. The gardens at the venue were gorgeous, and would probably allow us to save a lot of money because we wouldn't need flowers. However, my first concern is if we get married where the venue usually has the ceremony (in the front yard) the main street of the town will be right behind us. Before we call that a deal breaker - remember that the town is super small and "traffic" may be 4 cars passing by per hour.

(that is a picture of the venue...it's from a low angle so you can't see the street - I think with proper photography composition, you could frame the street out of the pictures and it wouldn't be an issue)

The people at the venue are completely laid back. Every answer for every question we have is the same: "We can really do whatever you guys want!". Seriously, they have a 5 star restaurant at the venue, and when we asked for their wedding menu they said "Oh, we just have our chef make a menu based on everything you like or request." It's great, but we're totally new at this and it would be great if they presented us with options! The woman that gave us the tour said that a recent reception asked for goat, so the venue went to a local goat farm in the morning got a goat, and that night they had a delicious goat dish. I happen to love that. While we most likely won't have goat at our reception, I love restaurants that have fresh, local, inspired cuisine.

So, the venue only has a license for beer/wine/champagne. We can't have liquor at the reception. Not a huge issue, but it's something to think about. Anyone ever had a wedding at a venue that couldn't have liquor? Are there any rules about bringing your own? Anyone gotten around that? Maybe our wedding gift could be flasks w/ certain alcohols in them! Kidding. Maybe.

Our major concern with the venue is getting to/from it. The town is small and the closest airport isn't exactly a hub like LAX or O'Hare. It does, however, have several flights that get to/from it. Flights aren't that expensive, just not the most convenient time wise. Leaving the area is much more difficult than getting to it . There are basically 3 flights that every one of our out of town guests will have to get on. It'll just be important to get on one of them, or you're stuck leaving at 6:30am the morning after the reception. I know if we book this venue, they will come... I just don't want to be labeled a jerk (too late, right?) because I have the most difficult wedding to get to.

All of that being said, anyone that comes to this wedding would have a blast of a weekend. There's the beach, there's wine tastings/vineyard tours, there's the Hearst Castle. The majority of our East coast family and friends will most likely be going through nasty fall weather and would love lounging out at the beach. There are FIRE PITS on the beach for bbqs! There are great little bars/restaurants. We ate lunch outside and could DRINK BEERS outside even though the restaurant didn't have us sit inside an enclosed patio. A freedom not experienced since I lived in Vegas! (it's the little things that make us happy, right?)

Also a major notch in the pro column of this place is that there are plenty of options for where our guests would stay. The most exciting option, to me, is Vacation-Rental-By-Owner beach houses. We looked online, our friends (who love vrbos) could rent a beach house that sleeps 8 for $250/night. It'd be a great affordable option for everyone.

Anyway - it was just a great day, if nothing else. We walked Ernie for the first time! He loved the beach. Ran right up and took a big gulp out of the Pacific. Rolled in the wet sand, then ran down the pier... he just LOVED it.
Well, leave a comment, and help me with this decision!! Wage in! What do you think?!