Reaching Centerpiece Peace

As I'm guessing any reading this are avid wedding blog readers, you know that centerpieces can often break the bank. When Rebecca and I were planning our wedding we'd spend time figuring out our budget and things we wanted to spend money on, then go bang our heads into the wall when we realized that we forgot to budget for centerpieces. If there's one business I'd now like to get into, it's the centerpiece business. Centerpiece business owners should probably just go ahead and read a different post because this isn't going to pretty.

So, let's think of a business model. What's something that people don't really care about all that much, but feel obligated to spend tons of money on? What's something that people don't REALLY know the cost of so we can just say it's SUPER expensive? What's something we can get for cheap, but can mark up 1000%? What's something that people could most likely do themselves, but once they really think about doing it themselves they'll say "meh, let's just pay someone else to worry about this!"? CENTERPIECES! Let's do this! We'll make a killing!

I reached inner centerpiece peace during a conversation with Rebecca. A moment of clarity during our planning. If you're looking to save a buck you only have to spend enough to make your centerpieces forgettable. We'll never be able to afford enough to make guests go home and say "damn those were beautiful elegant centerpieces" - so we just wanted to spend enough to make guests go home without saying "damn those were the stupidest/ugliest centerpieces". Just make them forgettable! That being said, I think we came up with great centerpieces, that would be classy, nice, and perhaps just 1 notch up from unforgettable.

We quickly decided not to have flowers arrangements. It was just not in our budget. We could go to the flower market and get wholesale flowers, but we questioned if they'd survive a 4 hour drive the day before the wedding and if they'd really look fresh. Plus we questioned if we'd want to actually arrange the flowers. We were lucky enough to be married in a garden, and then have our dinner/reception in an outdoor area surrounded by flowers and fresh herbs. We didn't need to spend the money on the flowers. We decided that we wanted to decorate with light. I just think there's something nice about a candle, especially at an outdoor wedding.

We went out and we found affordable glass vases and candles. Rebecca found awesome ceramic birds at a great price, and spray painted them to give them the vintage feel. Then we hit ebay and found vintage photo frames that Rebecca spruced up with high gloss yellow spray paint. Did I forget to tell you guys that I'm married to Banksy? So much spray painting before the wedding!

Our final centerpiece arrangement I think was a masterpiece. I think it was exactly what we wanted. Something pretty, casually chic, with a pop of diy. The vases were ultimately a bit beautifully forgettable, but we made our centerpieces memorable by our guests by injecting some of ourselves into the table. The birds and the picture frames that had our table numbers, which were funny pictures of our puppy. He couldn't be at our wedding, so we wanted him there somehow. Here are some pictures of our tables:

Lastly, I just want to mention that our centerpieces are now for sale! We've sold the birds, but everything else is still available. We have 12 large vases (I think they are like 20" tall), 33 smaller bubble looking vases, and 8 picture frames. Email me if you want prices! Let us help you reach CenterPEACE-of-Mind!

DIY? Ok, np!

This weekend we saw a major DIY win at the Temple of Groom household. Very exciting when one of these diy projects actually works as planned.

We finally crossed the escort card board off our list. Not going to lie, Rebecca did most of this project, but I was there when we bought everything and I'd like to think I helped out a lot.

Saturday morning was spent at Michael's getting our ketubah put on stretchers and wandering through the aisles for a few hours. One of the larger items on our to-do list is the escort card board.

Obligatory rant: Okay look, I get that there needs to be escort cards, or some sort of cards that tell everyone where they should sit. I just think it's one of those things that we easily start to stress about. Oooh, what's a cool way to tell people where to sit? Look, I love all the little details as much as the next guy, strike that, MORE than the next guy - because I have a wedding blog and the "next guy" doesn't. It just seems like one of those details now where we have to think about what we're going to do, and make it look nice and presentable, because if we DON'T have it, mass chaos ensues. And you know what, I will say this, I wasn't incredibly helpful during the planning stages of our escort card board. Instead of having a definitive idea, and executing it, Rebecca shot so many ideas my way. And you know what? I liked them all. They were all fine. It was something I just wanted to get done, and I didn't really care what the finished product was: cute little paper chairs with people's names printed on them, just printed out little cards, etc etc etc... It was something that I said, and I admit this goes against the nature of my blog, "If you like it, I'm totally behind you". That being said, I do love the end result.

So here's what we got:

Michael's: 18x24 picture frame (50% off!), magnets, small paper flowers, spray paint, chalkboard spray paint

Home Depot: large piece of sheet metal

When we got home I fixed the pool shed roof that I fell through a couple months ago and Rebecca started spray painting the picture frame a high gloss white. Then she cut sheet metal down to 18x24 and sprayed it with chalkboard paint.

I came in with an 18x24 piece of plywood that we mounted the sheet metal onto and then fit it into the frame! "We" made an awesome framed magnetic chalkboard. Then Rebecca took the small paper flowers glued them onto the magnets. Once we have our guest list finalized and our seating charts done, I'll print names out on small pieces of paper and we'll use the flower magnets to put them on the chalkboard.

Sure we could have bought something exactly like this online w/o having to spend a day working on it, but we have such a connection to this damn chalk board now! It's great. At the end of the day we did save money too. We love it. We'll hang it in our kitchen when the wedding is over. Who would have thought, I'd love an escort board?

It's just nice to have a DIY win!

Lights

In the key of Journey's "Lights"

When the lights go up at the reception

and they brighten up the spaaaaaace...

Do I want to set them up at my wedding?...

Oh oo oh

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh oooo ohhhhhhhhh

Oh oh oh.

So you think renting's costly...

well my friend I think it's costly too.

Do I really want to DIY it on the dayyyyyy?

Oh oo oh

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh oooo ohhhhhhhhh

Oh oh oh.

It's sad, oh there been mornings

where I thought I could set up you

without a harm

Oh oo oh

La La Lights

La la La

Oh oo oh

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh oooo ohhhhhhhhh

When the lights go up at the reception

and they brighten up the spaaaaaace...

Do I want to set them up at my wedding?...

Oh oo oh

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh oooo ohhhhhhhhh

Oh oh oh.

SO, right now these twinkle string lights for our outdoor reception are at the forefront of my mind. If you follow my tweets or facebook statuses you know for the last few months I've been either bitching about lights or stressed about them. These beautiful little bulbs of illumination are completely bending me over and having their way with me.

When we first started planning our wedding we decided that we wanted to decorate our reception more with lights and candles than with flowers. We thought that this would be a much cheaper option. Both Rebecca and I really love the look of string lights hanging overhead at a reception and this just seemed like a no brainer.

Flash forward a few months and we meet with our vendor who sends our world into a downward spiral. The rental companies all charge for lighting per the foot. Additionally, built into the cost of the lights is a set up fee. It really makes sense, and I completely understand it, but it's something we completely overlooked (see: no shit moments in wedding planning). It makes something we thought would be relatively cheap a rather large expense.

We made the executive decision to buy the lights and set them up ourselves the day before the wedding. The price difference (not including the poles) put a couple hundred dollars back into our pockets. Not to mention we can most likely resell our lights after the wedding. We enlisted the help of our family to set everything up with us. My side of the family is Jewish and has never strung lighting before, but I felt totally confident when Rebecca's uncles were going to help us out. I know it's a total stereotype to think that all Christians know how to string lights because of Christmas, but they HAVE to have better knowledge and experience than I do! I got really excited that we had this dilemma figured out!

UNTIL the contact at our rental company graciously gave us tips on securing the poles, something we hadn't even thought of. She could have said "good luck guys!" and sent us on our way to eff this up, but she was nice enough to guide us.

Unless we drive each pole into the ground (something we hadn't asked our venue if we could do) each pole holding lights would have to be weighed down. Suppose someone bumped into a pole early in the evening and yanked down the lights because we didn't weigh it down properly?! I know that's a pretty big "what if" but when alcohol is introduced into the equation, those "what if" scenarios become exponentially more likely. It's more like "when someone bumps into it" not "if".

So at the end of the day, do I want to be on a ladder driving a 10ft high pole into the ground the day before the wedding a few hours before the rehearsal? No. Well, I take that back, I think I'd definitely do it, but the question is, do I have the ABILITY to do it?! You're reading a blog written by the guy that... wait, that sentence says enough... "you're reading the BLOG of a guy..." I'd venture to guess most male wedding bloggers aren't exactly handy at manual labor.... but anyway, yes, you're reading a blog written by a guy that 3 months ago fell through his pool shed roof as he was trying to tie a tree up in his back yard. Enough said. Okay, so driving the poles into the ground, while a sturdy option, may not be allowed or feasible.

Second option is weighing down the base of the poles. This is what we'd have to do. I've spoken to many people (including our rental contact) and they all suggest weighing down each pole with 100-150lbs of weight. Wow, really? Maybe I can have friends just man a pole throughout the night. I'll be sure that servers bring them food & drinks if they just stand on the base of a light pole all night. Even though it's MY day and my guests should WANT to do this for me, I guess I'm not going to ask anyone to do that. So we've got to get sandbags. Heavy expensive sandbags. We either need to buy them, rent them, or make them.

It was at this point in the light dilemma contemplation that I realized the expensive fee for the string lights is worth the price. By the time we factor in purchasing lights, poles, sandbags, and factored in the stress of hanging the lights it seems like we're just overmatched. Were we really going to make our own sandbags? I mean we're across the street from a beach so there's plenty of sand, but carrying burlap sacks of 100lbs of sand the day before my wedding sounds more like a cruel bootcamp story than the day before a wedding.

I'm all for DIY when it saves you money but doesn't overload you with anxiety and stress the day before the wedding. For instance we're still doing our own centerpieces. Brilliant - we've got this! Our invitations - done, by us! We're taking on a lot. The lights I just saw as a wedding day disaster waiting to happen.

At the end of the day I feel like I was a little defeated by the lights, but I also feel such a sense of relief from laying down and letting this one go. I know that this solution may not work for everyone because budgets are too tight to rent. Believe me, we're kind of there ourselves. At this point we're robbing Peter to pay Paul with our budget. We decided to go even smaller with our already cheap centerpieces to help pay for lights. We made our own invitations to help pay for the lights. It was just important to us, and at the end of the day it's something that I don't want to have to stress about the day before my wedding.

By the way, this is not the first project/dilemma that's gotten the best of me and beaten me. Stay tuned to hear how the Gocco bent me over as well!

Tracking my "over-it" level but getting excited!

Have any of you hit the point where you start to doubt or second guess everything you've planned for your wedding? That was me several weeks ago. Maybe it's the fact that we're most likely going to exceed our budget, or that I feel like we're just working our butts to the bone planning and stressing, or maybe it's just run of the mill general second guessing that comes from contractually agreeing to many different people that it's hard to see the big picture! Anyway, I hit the wedding wall. My "over-it level" was at about 90%.

One thing that helped me get exciting again was a visit to our wedding venue - Cass House Inn. A few weeks ago Rebecca and I drove up the California coast to our wedding venue for the day. We needed to see our reception area for some measurements, have a food tasting, and look for rental vendors (for tables, chairs, linens, etc). Over-it level 92%.

When we got to the small town where we're getting married it immediately made me feel like we'd made the right choice in venue. The town is so peaceful and it just helped mellow me out. I could hear myself think. I could hear the ocean. It was so nice. Over-it level 76%.

Even though I'm on a diet (probably something else that's contributing to my hostility and irritation) we walked over to the Brown Butter Cookie Company. We've decided that we're not having a cake at our wedding for dessert. If you actively follow the blog, that won't be a surprise to you, but if you don't - let me fill you in quickly about my decision - cake is completely overrated, the end. So our venue is going to make small bite size desserts. You go over, you pop a truffle in your mouth, you have a glug of wine, and you get back to dancing. Sounds awesome. Well, Rebecca and I found this cookie company next to our wedding venue that makes some of the best cookies I've ever had in my life. They're made with brown butter, and sea salt. They're awesome. We decided to work with the 2 sisters that own the cookie shop, and in addition to the desserts our venue will make, we're also giving out cookies. I like sweets, sure, maybe not as much as people that would call themselves chocoholics or people that need a sweet fix, but I'm telling you, these cookies kind of make my knees buckle they're so good. Over-it level 53%.

Rebecca and I met with the owners of our venue, and they are just so easy going and cool. The chef (one of the owners) came out and talked to us quickly about our wedding dinner menu. He can basically do anything we want. He just needs a few keywords to go by, or needs to know what we like/dislike - needed to know who we are, etc. SO, we just told him that we've been going to the farmer's markets lately. So we're kind of on this whole eat fresh, eat local kick. He and his wife smiled and let us know that that's exactly what they're about. We told him we're also adventurous and while we will have many people at our venue that aren't we do want to introduce unconventional wedding ingredients to the menu. We were talking about small passed appetizers and the chef said "Pizza from our wood fire oven, but how about we do a duck and caramelized onion with brie and a balsamic reduction?" Um... Over-it level 39%.

After our meeting we had to drive about 25 minutes to the rental company that our venue suggested. Before we hit the road though we swung by our favorite sandwich spot in town. We ordered some sandwiches for the road. Ruddell's Smokehouse is a small sandwich shack that makes the most amazing smoked fish sandwiches I've ever had. I desperately want to buy sandwiches or tacos for everyone coming to the wedding the night before the big day, it just unfortunately doesn't fit into the budget. Sad. The sandwiches are awesome. I had to pull over to shove mine down my throat because the windy mountain roads weren't easy to navigate while trying to eat a Smoked Albacore sandwich. Plus I wanted to savor the sandwich. Delicious. Over-it level 22%.

We had our meeting at the rental company. It went well, but I quickly realized this is going to slam our budget. Damn it; over-it level 28%. The woman at the company couldn't have been nicer. I think I just underestimated how much goes into weddings. I think I just underestimated how much this stuff costs. Stuff sounds so cheap when you say it's only 45 cents per plate, but then when you multiply it in your head and then add it to the list of other stuff you need... damn it. Over-it level 31%. Again I want to reiterate that the company we may use couldn't be nicer. She's working with us... it's just AHHHHHH!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! (sorry, I really try not to curse on the blog because I don't know how you guys feel about it... but seriously... fuck... ) That felt pretty good. COME ON though... lights are so much more expensive than I thought they were. We're not having flowers.... lights are cheaper... right?! Yes, but still super expensive?!?!? DAMN it. This fork vs. that fork... round table vs. straight. It's so much to think about. The company couldn't have made it easier, but I just realized that there's so much to planning that I hadn't even thought of. Over-it level 34%.

I got back in the car... over-it level still relatively low compared to where I had been at the beginning of the day! Immediately I ate a cookie. Over-it level 30%. Lights and forks? What lights and forks. Me want cookie.

To cap off the day Rebecca and I headed back to our venue to do a dinner/tasting. Since the chef doesn't have a set wedding menu and will really work with us to make whatever we want, our venue doesn't do a conventional wedding tasting. IE here's your meat option, here's your chicken option, here's are your appetizer options. So we did dinner, and they also hooked us up with wine pairings so we can see how they roll w/ their food & beverage smarts.

GOOD GOD the food was awesome. I won't completely bore you with course by course details, but holy eff the food was good. They started us with an amuse bouche (amuse the mouth, a small little bite to start the meal) that was a king crab fritter on some type of aoli sauce with a piece of parsley on top. WOW. So that's how you do things here, huh? Over-it level 22%. Then we had about 5 courses, each one better than the last. My steak was unbelievable. Perhaps one of the best steak dishes I've ever had. It was perfection. I can easily be a self proclaimed foodie snob when it comes to food so I'm not just giving props to our venue because we've put a non-refundable deposit down. Over-it level 12%. The wine pairings... oh man... all of these wines were very very good but then once you began eating the dish the wine was paired with its flavor transformed. It made them GREAT. The food and beverage just worked so harmoniously together. 5 glasses later: over-it level 3%. I decided that it was probably smart to have some coffee for the trip home. French press (see post below) awesomeness.... over-it level 1%.

As I walked to the car to head back to Los Angeles, I really felt so great about every decision we've made so far. What a great feeling. You know what? Before we hit the road, let me go back into our venue and go to the bathroom real quickly.... oh man, even their SOAP is awesome.

Over-it level 0%.

Rehearsal Dinner guest list

Who gets an invite to the rehearsal dinner? While the true answer is "invite whomever you want", there seem to be several schools of thought on the issue.

1. Invite only those in the wedding party
2. Invite those in the wedding party and out of town guests
3. Invite those in the wedding party, close family not in the wedding, and out of town guests
4. Invite everyone

It seems while the economy has fallen on tough times, the rehearsal dinner is something that has fallen under the budget cutting knife. People seem to be scaling way back on the rehearsal dinner. Right now I see and agree with all sides of this debate. One minute I understand the importance of having a big rehearsal dinner with a large guest list, then the next I question why you have to throw a mini-wedding reception the night before the wedding reception. That's why I'm turning to you... help me. What are your thoughts on rehearsal dinner guest lists?

Mason Jars = Awesome

Does anyone else think mason jars are awesome?
I may need to "borrow" this idea! I think this looks so cool. Our wedding is at night so the more candles/twinkle lights I think the better. I'm thinking we'll go to a flea market and buy a bunch of different types of jars and do a variation of this idea!

Wedding Ring - check!

So, today I can officially cross another item off of the "Wedding To-Do List". I have my wedding ring!

Ms. Temple of Groom had a great idea: wear my grandfather's wedding ring. It's a pretty great idea because my grandfather has always been an inspiration throughout my life. I called my parents, and they shipped the ring.

The cool thing is that it's pretty much exactly what I was looking for. It's plain platinum and not very shiny. I tried it on, and it actually fits pretty perfectly. I hate wearing anything on my fingers so I think I just have to get used to it.

Even though I know I have to wear a ring, I never have looked forward to it. Not because I don't want people to know I'm married - I have a WEDDING BLOG I obviously don't care if people know I'm going to get married - I just don't love the look or feel of wearing a ring. This was a good way to make me pretty excited to wear a ring. Also, it was a great way to cut costs on something that didn't really matter to me all that much. It has more meaning to me now though! Brides, if your groom isn't looking forward to wearing a ring, pitch this idea. It's the only thing that would have worked for me!

Wedding Dress?... Check!

Everything else?..... yeeeeah, we've still gotta get around to everything else. But at least Ms. Temple of Groom got her wedding dress this weekend, right?! It's a good start.

My sister is in town from NY and my fiance thought it'd be a great opportunity to start looking at dresses. She did a quick round up of some relatives and close girlfriends, and before she knew it, she was in wedding gowns. For those of you wondering, I did not go with them. We always said I'd most likely see her dress before our wedding day, but for some reason actually GOING and watching her try on the dresses seems a tad overboard. Maybe it's the episode of "Rich Bride, Poor Bride" I just watched where the groom wanted to pick out the dress with his bride... it just seemed controlling and a tad creepy.

Anyway, I got a call from my sister while the group was on its way to the 2nd dress boutique. The first store was a total bust. My fiance never felt like traditional wedding gowns were for her, and the first batch of 20 dresses she tried on confirmed that for her. She felt like a total poser of a bride. The dress she originally wanted was not right for her and I was already preparing to do damage control when she got back home. I was almost out the door to pick up 50 twix bars and a bottle of wine when I got a text from my sister "we found something amazing".

Guys, if you live in Los Angeles or San Francisco, send your brides to The Glamour Closet. Since the beginning of my blog, I think this is the most valuable nugget of info I've written about. It could save you THOUSANDS of dollars. I'm not exaggerating. The Glamour Closet is a boutique that sells designer dresses that were displays in showrooms, runway samples, or overstock from other boutiques. All the dresses are brand new. It's a great way for brides to get their dream dresses without spending the dream dress price. Trust me, we don't have Monique Lhuillier dream dress money, but Ms. Temple of Groom was able to find the perfect dress and couldn't be happier.

A couple updates - I will NOT see the dress (either on the rack, or on my fiance) before the wedding. If you missed what my fiance commented on my post regarding whether or not it's cool for a groom to have wedding dress input or see the dress here is what she said:

Well, I already know that you will most likely see a photo of the dress before the wedding. (considering I've sent you every link of dresses I like so far). Also, I know me well enough to know that probably on one lazy saturday afternoon, when we are just laying around, not showered, eating take out and watching movies, I will probably decide to try it on for you. Is that so bad?

She's singing a much different tune now. That's how I knew that this is "the dress". She has forbidden me to see it, see pictures of it, and most of all see her in it. Over the weekend she somehow became a real bride! She's more excited to get married than ever. I'm telling you guys, if you are looking for a designer dress but are on a budget - or even if you want an awesome dress but don't want to spend retail, go to the Glamour Closet. She's been gushing ever since she went.

Lastly, and most importantly, I'm happy to report that the dress isn't so formal that I can't wear my Converse Chucks with my suit. So this weekend was a total win.

Three Splurge Items

One of the guidelines many use when planning their wedding budget is establishing 3 splurge items and cutting costs on everything else.

We haven't set our items in stone just yet because we haven't REALLY started planning everything, but I would love to know what you would choose or did choose (if you're already married).

Here's a list of wedding needs (let me know if I'm missing some - I'm sure I'll miss a few):

- Venue Location
- Catering (food & alcohol)
- Wedding Dress
- Guest List Size (luxury to invite the amt of people you want)
- Photographer
- Videographer
- Wedding Cake
- Reception Entertainment
- Invitations
- Reception Decorations/Centerpieces
- Flowers
- Gifts
- Rehearsal Dinner
- Hair & Makeup