Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Asking the guys to join the party.

I have a question for anyone out there with answers: Is there a non-cheesy way of asking a friend to partake in your wedding?

I've been sitting staring at a blank unwritten email for the last few days trying to craft a letter to a few friends about the wedding. There is absolutely no way to do this that doesn't sound like I want to make love to each and every one of them. Funny thing is that I don't even want them to be in the wedding (we're not having a big wedding party) I just want them to hang out with me during the day of, get ready with me, be ushers at the wedding, and take a few photos with me.

I'm getting married in August, so is it too soon to send out this email? I'm afraid that it's going to launch us into a thread of making-fun-of-me emails with speeds Nigerian spammers would be envious of. (Which reminds me, before I send out this email to my guy friends I need to claim money that an unknown relative left me in Nigeria, I'm apparently the only heir to the millions.)

Is this something I shouldn't even ask over email? Do guys actually pick up the phone and have a heart to heart with someone before asking him to be in the wedding? That sounds worse than the email! Do I need to schedule something kind of overly masculine with them and sneak the question in somehow? For instance maybe I should pull a belt off my car's engine, have a friend over to fix it, and then be like "Dude, this fan belt is like insane. We should hang out on my wedding day." This is almost WORSE that I'm not asking them to be in the wedding, that would be a nice honor... instead I'm asking my friends to hang out with me and take pictures with me so I can verify I do, in fact, know people and have friends.

Help.

9 comments:

  1. I think women with handmade cards and "will you be my bridesmaid" gifts ruin this process for the rest of us. We just had our first "dude, we want you to be in our wedding party and hold the chuppa pole" conversation. It happened at midnight over Thanksgiving leftovers and beer. In your situation, just beer or conversation should also suffice.

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  2. your totally over thinking it. send an email that says "dude - your awesome, want to be in my wedding or what?" If they are really friends that's all you have to say

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  3. I'm pretty sure my fiance just called up his friends and said, "hey... wanna be a groomsman?" (Which is exactly what I did with my bridesmaids too... lol)

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  4. I would not put this in a mass email. Just send everyone a personal email in which you mention your excitement about the wedding, the specific date and that it would be great if they could keep the whole day free because you would like to hang out with them personally before the wedding. Because you know that a) that will be great fun and b) you really like them and it will make your day even better than it undoubtetly is going to be anyway

    That's not cheesy (I guess)

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  5. Here's what you do....Just take me with you when you ask them. I FOR SURE won't make it embarrassing or awkward,.i swear. I can even get the conversation started by saying something clever like " soooooooo Davey...is there something you'd like to ask him??"

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  6. I'm pretty sure David called his groomsmen the day after he proposed.... three years before our wedding. Nothing fancy.

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  7. Mr B got all his guys cigars, and then said - want to smoke these with me at my wedding. Worked a treat.

    P.s. I freakin love your blog

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  8. use it as an excuse to invite your friends out for a drink! and then casually broach the topic. It'll be easy, and a good chance to hang out. This is what my fiancè did, anyways... (liquid courage!)

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  9. Yeah you are thinking too much into it. They will be really pumped when you ask them. I know when I was asked by a good friend to be in his wedding, I was touched because it meant something.

    I feel what you're thinking, but you have nothing to worry about just ask them.

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