Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What an excuse!

As of our RSVP by date (June 20th) we were missing answers from about 30% of our guest list. I'm not sure if that's normal or not. I've only planned one wedding before so I'm a little new to this. Maybe it's because our wedding is a destination wedding to about 50% of our guest list and some are still on the fence about trekking out here? At any rate I started emailing a few people who I knew I most likely wasn't going to hear from unless I emailed them. I had a pretty good feeling about each person I emailed, but it's always good to get something in writing so we can start to finish this wedding planning! (I know it's TOTALLY unrealistic, but it'd be great to just be done with everything so we can relax for a few weeks before the wedding... does that ever happen?)

So I emailed one of my friends, and the answer I got back as to why he hadn't yet RSVP-ed was not a complete surprise (based on everything I know about him), but was probably the most appalling/great excuse I've heard. There's definitely a group of guys that I'm worried about putting near an open bar, but at the end of the day it's going to spell fun. Here's his excuse:
"I was drunk at my house and Stacie goes "fill this out now and send it" and then I was like fine and then made a bunch of rude, crass and unfunny jokes all over it. Like "food preference: fresh poon" and then Elizabeth and Stacie were like,

"That's pretty ballsy considering their parents will probably see it" and I was like hell yeah I'm a badass!

And then I woke up the next day and threw it away so it would never accidentally get sent because I don't know what my drunk self was thinking.

I'm coming to the wedding."
The unfortunate thing is had he been sober in the morning, he would have seen the envelope was addressed to US, not our parents.

At the end of the day Rebecca and I realized that since we're having a family style dinner w/ each table getting a meat, veggie, and fish option that putting a spot on the RSVP that said "Dietary Restrictions: _____" was a tad unnecessary. I didn't know it would lend us to getting answers like "Fresh Poon". However, while I'm on that subject, it's just speculation, but if that is indeed where he wrote on our RSVP, does that mean that he CAN'T eat that and only prefers stale? Okay, I'll stop - this is a wedding blog... class it up Dave...


  1. I wish he would have sent it.

  2. Haha you don't know how many times I've heard the ol' "I was drunk" excuse. I'm gla dit was for the best though. Would have been kind of funny if he sent it.

  3. That's priceless. We did a madlib RSVP card and I can't wait to see all the crazy answers we get back!

  4. That has to be one of the best excuses ever... it's better than "my goldfish ate it" anyway...

  5. Haha, nice. That made me chuckle at my desk. Like Janeen... that would have been great if he'd just sent it.

  6. I am cracking up! The #1 complaint of couples we meet with a few days before the wedding is, "Our guests aren't returning their RSVP's!" Of course, the bridal party is the biggest culprit.

    If I got RSVP responses like these I would totally frame them and mount them on my wall.

    I just found this blog from WeddingBlogAwards. Keep the groom advice and perspective coming! I love it.

  7. Welp. I stand by my decision to throw it away rather than send it.

    There may or may not have been a written decree of my intentions to (let's say..."hit on") the groom's sister at the wedding.

    That's the kind of thing you just don't want written proof of floating around.

  8. Personally, I only eat organic, sustainably-raised free-range poon. Where do I buy it? At Hole Foods, of course. (GROOOOOAN)

  9. Ba ha! "I'm coming to the wedding." For some reason, I read this outloud like a meathead frat-boy, just the most stereotypical beefhead guy voice you've ever heard. I'm really disappointed in my choice of voice, but it did emphasize that last line's fantasticalness for me. Cracking me up.

  10. Just found this blog and this post is hilarious! Not what you want your wedding remembered for, but gave me a giggle just the same! :D