It seriously blows my mind that I'm approaching my two year wedding anniversary. How did this happen?
At this time two years ago we were receiving RSVPs to our wedding. Two years later I managed to put all my lost wedding weight back on, but I also managed to stay married! You take the good, you take the bad, it's the facts of life... the facts of life. You might roll your eyes thinking staying married for 2 whole years isn't such a big deal, but this day in age when some marriages only last 72 days (oh god, a Kardashian reference?! I'm rusty at blogging, okay?!) two years is as much to celebrate as 40 years.
I've come to the conclusion that the wedding is tough, but marriage is pretty tough too. I don't want that to come off as sounding like I haven't enjoyed being married. That's not true. Being married to Rebecca has been amazing. She is still my best friend and the love of my life. That being said, this shit is hard, people.
Even though the wedding seems like an impossible task you've taken on, looking back... it's kind of easy. If I could go back in time to talk to "Temple of Groom - in his prime" self, there's a lot we could talk about. After I give him some advice like "plastics" (see: The Graduate) and he rolls his eyes, I would give him real advice that only becomes clear years after the wedding.
Relax. This is all going to get done. You know you're going to get it all done. You don't need a future version of yourself coming back in time to tell you that you're going to get it done to know that it ALWAYS seems to figure itself out. I've never been to a wedding where the Bride and Groom walk down the aisle saying "Sorry everyone! We didn't have time to get our seating assignments done!". Everything will get done...
...and worst case scenario, if it doesn't get done, it's not the end of the world. The week before the wedding I'm sure there was a laundry list of last minute things Rebecca and I had to get done. I'm pretty sure some of them probably DIDN'T get done. But it didn't derail the wedding. AND the day after the wedding, anything you didn't have time to squeeze in, seems completely meaningless. The important things ALWAYS get done. The officiant, the marriage license, getting married. Ah! Okay... I didn't get a backdrop for my homemade wedding photo booth. Big deal, right?
The thing I've come to realize the most is that before the wedding it's ALL you're focused on. The months leading up to the wedding, life might exist outside of planning and blogging and reading wedding blogs and frantically trying to lose weight, but you don't truly notice it. There's no time for job stress, or real life situation stress. You nail the big project at work and don't even notice it because "WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO FIND AFFORDABLE STRING LIGHTS TO HANG OVER THE DANCE FLOOR?!?!?!?!?!". In that regard, wedding planning is kind of an incredible thing. I wish I had another wedding to plan!
Now, years later, when life gets you down, you don't have anything as big as a wedding to distract you. So you have to face it. And it's tough. There's no giant distraction to unload your stress onto. Perhaps those blowout fights about what type of stamps should go on our invitations were a good thing. Perhaps it was a great way to release tension. Now without a giant project on my plate like a wedding, I realize that planning a wedding is tough, but staying married is probably equally as tough. Stress filters into your marriage in new ways that it didn't before.
So that's how I'm going to introduce the next incarnation of my blog. I'll, of course, talk a lot about weddings (can you believe I still have wedding related questions on my mind??) but I think I want to start talking about marriage too. Someday the blog will hopefully morph into "Temple of Womb" where another huge project (pregnancy) will distract us from life, but for now, I'll continue posting my wedding questions, and start filtering in my marriage questions.
So much has happened in the last two years. Good, and bad. I think it's going to be really good to get back behind the blogging wheel...