My question to anyone that has wedding experience, or anyone that is engaged and has been thinking about tips: Who do you tip and how much should one generally tip? (let's assume everyone hired does a geat job!)
I know that I'll most likely get a comment that just has a link to another wedding site w/ a blog titled "Here's how to tip!" but I would really love to hear your thoughts on tipping your vendors. It'd be great to get any personal advice you may have! Help us!
Clearly there's a world of difference between UK and US tipping scenes but my theory has always been you tip anyone who goes over and above the expected service. When they do you tip big (20% region) because it's darwinism in financial terms.
ReplyDeleteMy wife says I'm a cheap arse tho when it comes to not tipping as standard.
I was astounded to find my venue (who is doing all catering & bar as well) has included a MANDITORY 15% gratuity in our quote. So apparently I am tipping them 15% no matter how good they do. So I am not going to tip any more than that. Which sucks, cause you dont know if the company will actually spread around the tip. And when you're looking at an additional 15% of our venue, catering and bar fees....it adds up to be over a $3,000 tip. Which, honestly... I never would have given. I would have probably given the bartenders a hundred or so bucks, and the same for my co-coordinator, then given $20 or so per staff member to the kitchen manager to disperse. I don't know who else to tip? The officiant? The florist? Do you tip them?
ReplyDeleteCheck out ESB's post on this very thing - http://eastsidebride.blogspot.com/2010/03/who-needs-to-be-tipped.html
ReplyDeleteI think if someone owns the business (like a photog) then they don't need to be tipped since that is probably included in their cost. But for someone working FOR a company you should tip them 10-15%.
I was going to leave a link to the same article as Emilia Jane, but she beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, to Kristen: that 15% isn't quite like a tip, in that it (usually) doesn't go to the actual wait staff. Most of the mandatory service charges cover who-knows-what, and they range from 20-22% in LA (so consider yourself "lucky") but they're required, so we're stuck. If we go the traditional catering route, we're probably going to bring a $20 (or something, TBD) for each of the wait staff.
Here's a question added on to David's post: Our rental company (where we are getting our tables, linens, etc) charges a fuel charge as well as a delivery charge. Do we still tip the delivery guys on top of that??
ReplyDelete@Barky - again, the delivery guys themselves aren't getting tipped from that delivery or fuel charge. It sucks, because they're the ones doing the hard set up. When I do events I tip the delivery people too. If it's a particularly difficult set up (like the time the elevator broke down and they had to carry things 4 flights of stairs), I tip them a lot.
ReplyDelete(and FYI to everyone - if your caterer takes care of rentals for you, probably from the same companies you're looking into on your own, sometimes they'll charge their tax/service charge etc inclusive of the rentals. So ASK.)
The general rule of thumb (and one we tell our brides), is if someone works for his/herself or own their own studio, you generally do not tip them, unless you want to.
ReplyDeleteTypically ceremony musicians are tipped, as are the DJ and officiant, and wait staff if it is not included - but check with your venue. Some venues in my town request that you do not tip their wait staff, some do not mind at all.
Hope this helps!
This just opened up a new can of worms... Weddings are very expensive as is, so adding tipping to the mix seems a bit ridiculous. I understand that a tip = job well done & thank you, but to be honest, I don't think it's neccessary unless someone did something outstanding. They work, have job, and are paid. Expecting a tip and mandatory tipping has become the norm, and I disagree with that unless someone went above and beyond.
ReplyDeletei did not do a lot of tipping for my wedding and now i'm rethinking that after reading these posts! i tipped the officiant and the florist (the flowers at our wedding were magnificent) but i didn't even think to tip anyone else. i think it is acceptable to keep the tips to a minimum.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anonymous. All of my vendors are already getting a TON of money from us. I don't feel that tips are appropriate when I am paying you $3000 for something. I mean, no one tips me for just doing my job. It's very nice if you have the budget to do that, but I don't think it's necessary.
ReplyDeleteIn Brazil we tip in two ocasions. One, if you know you'll be returning to that place and want to be treated really nice when you do. For instance: restaurants and beauty saloons. Second, if someone has done an extraordinary service that really surpried you. And like eveyone said before, if the person owns the bussiness, you don't tip. But if he works for some one else you do, if he's surprised you or if you will be using his services again. Since I don't think I'll get married again, don't think I'll be doing that much tiping in my wedding.
ReplyDeleteBtw, first groom blog that I ever see! Nice!
To the folks who are talking about all the money you pay meaning you don't need to tip... it depends. If you photographer/florist/DOC/etc is an independent businessperson and they set their own rates, then don't tip. They should set their own rates at a reasonable level.
ReplyDeleteBut waitstaff for non-all-inclusive venues (per Landlocked bride's point)? Hired gun DJs from a corporate firm? Delivery guys? They're not seeing much of what you paid to the company. The whole freaking wedding is an expensive pain in the ass, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't consider tipping because we hate how much everything costs. It's like saying you don't want to tip at a 5 star restaurant because your meal was over $100.
Trust, I hate it too. And I hate the way that most people aren't aware of these questions upfront when we plan out budgets (I was lucky that I've worked events.) But we planned it in to our expenses and it's just part of the giant massive pain in the ass cost of this thing.
What rule says you need to tip? Just write them a meaningful Thank You note or give them a bottle of wine. Those gestures of gratitude have much more meaning to vendors who love their job.
ReplyDeleteHello Temple Crowd, I realize I come from a different place than most of you, being a wedding planner with a background in hotel catering. But 8 years ago I was also a bride on a shoestring budget with alot of DIY elements, and we still made room in our budget for tips because we wanted to show appreciation to the folks that made our wedding day and the planning process spectacular.
ReplyDeleteBottom line - tips should never be expected but are always appreciated. I tell my clients they should always consider tipping if they have the means to do so, and should tip anyone who went above & beyond to make their day special. I don't agree that you should not tip people who own their own businesses. There are so many wonderful mom & pop wedding businesses out there - and very few of them are getting rich - they do it because they have a passion for their craft and enjoy serving happy couples. (Not to mention the high cost of running a business: health insurance, overhead, self employment tax - yes an extra 15% just for being self employed) Also, to be blunt, being a wedding professional at times also means being a counselor and advisor, and no one is getting fully paid for all the hours they put in.
Since you asked, here is my general rule of thumb, and keep in mind this is for the San Francisco Bay Area. To anyone who has given you fabulous service AND been integral to your planning process: $100 & up. (This usually is a catering manager, and could be a DJ, photographer, videographer or florist) For people with more minor roles in the planning process, $50 (cake baker, lighting, any of the above can also be in this category) A banquet captain that does a stellar job should also get $50 or higher. People that support you on your big day, but have had no role in helping you plan (delivery people, wait staff, limo drivers) $15-$25.
I never include myself in my examples, but I've been blessed with generous clients who have tipped me anywhere from $150 - $350. And if it's truly not in your budget, (and even if it is) take some time to write a handwritten thank you note for your vendor team. The more love that's spread on your wedding day, the better.