A Temple of Groom v2.0 Intro

It seriously blows my mind that I'm approaching my two year wedding anniversary. How did this happen?

At this time two years ago we were receiving RSVPs to our wedding. Two years later I managed to put all my lost wedding weight back on, but I also managed to stay married! You take the good, you take the bad, it's the facts of life... the facts of life. You might roll your eyes thinking staying married for 2 whole years isn't such a big deal, but this day in age when some marriages only last 72 days (oh god, a Kardashian reference?! I'm rusty at blogging, okay?!) two years is as much to celebrate as 40 years.

I've come to the conclusion that the wedding is tough, but marriage is pretty tough too. I don't want that to come off as sounding like I haven't enjoyed being married. That's not true. Being married to Rebecca has been amazing. She is still my best friend and the love of my life. That being said, this shit is hard, people.

Even though the wedding seems like an impossible task you've taken on, looking back... it's kind of easy. If I could go back in time to talk to "Temple of Groom - in his prime" self, there's a lot we could talk about. After I give him some advice like "plastics" (see: The Graduate) and he rolls his eyes, I would give him real advice that only becomes clear years after the wedding.

Relax. This is all going to get done. You know you're going to get it all done. You don't need a future version of yourself coming back in time to tell you that you're going to get it done to know that it ALWAYS seems to figure itself out. I've never been to a wedding where the Bride and Groom walk down the aisle saying "Sorry everyone! We didn't have time to get our seating assignments done!". Everything will get done...

...and worst case scenario, if it doesn't get done, it's not the end of the world. The week before the wedding I'm sure there was a laundry list of last minute things Rebecca and I had to get done. I'm pretty sure some of them probably DIDN'T get done. But it didn't derail the wedding. AND the day after the wedding, anything you didn't have time to squeeze in, seems completely meaningless. The important things ALWAYS get done. The officiant, the marriage license, getting married. Ah! Okay... I didn't get a backdrop for my homemade wedding photo booth. Big deal, right?

The thing I've come to realize the most is that before the wedding it's ALL you're focused on. The months leading up to the wedding, life might exist outside of planning and blogging and reading wedding blogs and frantically trying to lose weight, but you don't truly notice it. There's no time for job stress, or real life situation stress. You nail the big project at work and don't even notice it because "WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO FIND AFFORDABLE STRING LIGHTS TO HANG OVER THE DANCE FLOOR?!?!?!?!?!". In that regard, wedding planning is kind of an incredible thing. I wish I had another wedding to plan!

Now, years later, when life gets you down, you don't have anything as big as a wedding to distract you. So you have to face it. And it's tough. There's no giant distraction to unload your stress onto. Perhaps those blowout fights about what type of stamps should go on our invitations were a good thing. Perhaps it was a great way to release tension. Now without a giant project on my plate like a wedding, I realize that planning a wedding is tough, but staying married is probably equally as tough. Stress filters into your marriage in new ways that it didn't before.

So that's how I'm going to introduce the next incarnation of my blog. I'll, of course, talk a lot about weddings (can you believe I still have wedding related questions on my mind??) but I think I want to start talking about marriage too. Someday the blog will hopefully morph into "Temple of Womb" where another huge project (pregnancy) will distract us from life, but for now, I'll continue posting my wedding questions, and start filtering in my marriage questions.

So much has happened in the last two years. Good, and bad. I think it's going to be really good to get back behind the blogging wheel...

Style us pretty!

Today has been great! I finally got to announce that a comedy pilot I wrote is a finalist in the NY TV Festival and is now in the hands of FOX's comedy development team. Fingers are crossed as tightly as they can be. Makes it difficult to type, but I have to do whatever I can.

SECONDLY I just got a tweet telling me that my wedding is featured on the STYLE ME PRETTY blog! So exciting. The best thing about the wedding blog world is that even nearly a year after your wedding, things like this can potentially pop up and send you back to the day you were married. Looking at CallawayGable pictures never gets old. They make me remember how great the wedding was.

Last night in bed Rebecca and I were talking about how much we want to go visit Cayucos again - hopefully we'll plan a trip to the Cass House soon -these pictures will have to do for now!

Anyway follow this link over to the Style Me Pretty blog if you want to see more pictures from our wedding!

Miss you all! Promise to try to write more

I miss getting married!

Today it hit me that I kind of miss planning and stressing about the wedding. I know that sounds odd, but so does a blog about a guy that likes weddings. A couple of our friends are getting married this weekend and another couple tying the knot next weekend. Mrs. Temple of Groom and I will attend 2 weddings in June and then another in August. It's just really exciting, and I'm envious of all the couples going through this!

While I don't miss the arguments about stamps or centerpieces with my parents I do miss the constant rush you have that you're about to marry someone. That everything you've worked so hard to plan and perfect is about to payoff in the most incredible way. It culminates with the fact that you're about to embark on one of the most important life altering days you'll ever have. Again, I'd like to reiterate, there's a LOT I don't miss but ultimately, it's such an unparalleled great experience no matter what happens.

While you're planning, absolutely nothing anyone can say will convince you that things will be incredible no matter what happens, but it's true. Nothing can convince me of that more than a recent post by Bowie Bride. Her post proved that even if you walk away from the wedding and didn't technically get married (which I guess is up there with one of the worst things that can happen) the day can still be perfect. You should go take a read if you're completely stressing and need to breathe. (LINK) When you're planning, and unable to breath because the wedding is less than 2 weeks away, it's nearly impossible to realize that your day is going to be perfect no matter what happens. Rain or shine, cake or not, chicken vs fish - it won't matter. It'll be perfect.

And the truth is the stress completely helps amplify the day and make it special. The second you overcome the stress and you just let it go, is one of the best experiences and feelings you'll ever have. You need the stress to appreciate the serenity and excitement of the day. The first time I saw Rebecca during our "first look" is the moment where I just let everything go. Tears, stress and anxiety were quickly replaced by excitement and my desire to just get married to this woman and party. It's such an incredible experience. When you're planning you often forget that the point of the wedding is to get married... The day gets cluttered with "did-we-remembers...". Did we remember to get the checks for the a capella kids, did we remember to pack the chuppa poles, did we get our marriage documents to the rabbi... it's never as simple and clear as "I just can't wait to get married to you!" Sure you have your moments of "we should have eloped, I just want to be married" but it's all just verbiage you say because you're stressed and just completely over planning-mode.

I don't really know what the point of this post is. It's perhaps one of the most jumbled and least thought out writings I've done on the blog. I feel like I'm on my soapbox a little, but it's all coming from the heart. I guess I'm just writing to tell my friends to really cherish this time. Enjoy the stress, and enjoy lack of sleep. It all pays off. The more stressed you are, the more incredible your day is going to be.

Rebecca and I just picked up our wedding photo album from our photographers - CallawayGable Photography. Although we've seen the photos thousands of times now, actually having the physical gorgeous leather bound book of your pictures kind of makes you realize that it really happened. It's kind of bittersweet. On one hand you've got the most incredible memories, but on the other, you just want it to happen all over again.

SO, good luck to friend about to make the leap. I'm so excited for you all and I assure you, it will be the most incredible day, even if it's not...

AND, just because I haven't posted every picture of my wedding - I thought I would include a couple more. At the end of the night in place of throwing rice, or confetti, or bubbles at us - the entire reception made its way to the pier on the beach across the street. We lit sky lanters into the breezy night sky. (don't worry they are biodegradable and eco friendly)

(all photos taken by CallawayGable Photography)

A STD that makes my childhood happy!

Came across this Save-the-Date this morning and had to repost it! I used to LOVE garbage pail kids when I was growing up. Hell, I STILL love Garbage Pail Kids.

Painted by a real Garbage Pail Kids artist, Brent Engstrom for a friend. Visit his blog if you need a moment of nostalgia! I gotta say, if I received this STD, it would be one wedding that come hell or high water, I would attend. (note: I don't ACTUALLY judge which weddings I attend based on the STD. I don't want to start an uproar)

Reaching Centerpiece Peace

As I'm guessing any reading this are avid wedding blog readers, you know that centerpieces can often break the bank. When Rebecca and I were planning our wedding we'd spend time figuring out our budget and things we wanted to spend money on, then go bang our heads into the wall when we realized that we forgot to budget for centerpieces. If there's one business I'd now like to get into, it's the centerpiece business. Centerpiece business owners should probably just go ahead and read a different post because this isn't going to pretty.

So, let's think of a business model. What's something that people don't really care about all that much, but feel obligated to spend tons of money on? What's something that people don't REALLY know the cost of so we can just say it's SUPER expensive? What's something we can get for cheap, but can mark up 1000%? What's something that people could most likely do themselves, but once they really think about doing it themselves they'll say "meh, let's just pay someone else to worry about this!"? CENTERPIECES! Let's do this! We'll make a killing!

I reached inner centerpiece peace during a conversation with Rebecca. A moment of clarity during our planning. If you're looking to save a buck you only have to spend enough to make your centerpieces forgettable. We'll never be able to afford enough to make guests go home and say "damn those were beautiful elegant centerpieces" - so we just wanted to spend enough to make guests go home without saying "damn those were the stupidest/ugliest centerpieces". Just make them forgettable! That being said, I think we came up with great centerpieces, that would be classy, nice, and perhaps just 1 notch up from unforgettable.

We quickly decided not to have flowers arrangements. It was just not in our budget. We could go to the flower market and get wholesale flowers, but we questioned if they'd survive a 4 hour drive the day before the wedding and if they'd really look fresh. Plus we questioned if we'd want to actually arrange the flowers. We were lucky enough to be married in a garden, and then have our dinner/reception in an outdoor area surrounded by flowers and fresh herbs. We didn't need to spend the money on the flowers. We decided that we wanted to decorate with light. I just think there's something nice about a candle, especially at an outdoor wedding.

We went out and we found affordable glass vases and candles. Rebecca found awesome ceramic birds at a great price, and spray painted them to give them the vintage feel. Then we hit ebay and found vintage photo frames that Rebecca spruced up with high gloss yellow spray paint. Did I forget to tell you guys that I'm married to Banksy? So much spray painting before the wedding!

Our final centerpiece arrangement I think was a masterpiece. I think it was exactly what we wanted. Something pretty, casually chic, with a pop of diy. The vases were ultimately a bit beautifully forgettable, but we made our centerpieces memorable by our guests by injecting some of ourselves into the table. The birds and the picture frames that had our table numbers, which were funny pictures of our puppy. He couldn't be at our wedding, so we wanted him there somehow. Here are some pictures of our tables:

Lastly, I just want to mention that our centerpieces are now for sale! We've sold the birds, but everything else is still available. We have 12 large vases (I think they are like 20" tall), 33 smaller bubble looking vases, and 8 picture frames. Email me if you want prices! Let us help you reach CenterPEACE-of-Mind!