I Miss Weddings!

Oooof, it's been way too long!  I honestly can't remember the last wedding that I went to.  Not because I was drunk, and not because it was forgettable... I just think I've hit that age where I see more birth announcements than "save the dates".

Where's the fun in this?!  I love children... hell I've got a 2 year old and another on the way... I love being a father.  That said, we don't throw huge parties with all of our friends when we get a birth announcement.  

It's not about me/us anymore... it's all about them... I get it... HOWEVER - I'm allowed to pout and say that I'd love a night where I'm drinking all of your free alcohol, eating your free food, and silently judging your centerpieces...

Invite me to your wedding!!!

Hmm... well... maybe I can divorce my wife, and then propose to her again... do it all over again.  I'm sure she'd be into that.

I wonder what I would do differently this go around...

Destination Wedding Magazine & Looking Forward!

I can't believe I haven't told you that I now have been contributing to Destination Wedding Magazine!  My column in the bi-monthly magazine is called "Grooms Room".

My first article (which appeared in the the Jan/Feb issue) is chock full of perks on planning a destination wedding.  I can't believe that a magazine actually encourages me to give tips like:

"Do you feel bad telling your guests you don’t want a choir of babies screaming over your vows?  Let your destination wedding break the news for you. As badly as you don’t want kids at your wedding, there’s a stronger desire within your guests to not trek to distant locations with their offspring."

Before you get angry with me, it's all in jest.  I love kids.  Everyone loves babies and children.  I just didn't really want them at my wedding.  And the fact that there was so much travel involved getting to our wedding location was a wonderful deterrent for keeping the toddlers away!  

But, there are also some really great tips and thoughts in the article as well.  Ideas I'm betting you overlooked.  Forget everything you think you know about destination weddings!  In the article I tell you why you really really really want to have one!  

Anyway - I'm very excited about the opportunity that I've been given to continue to talk weddings with anyone that will read my thoughts.  I never expected this blog/persona to live on for much longer than I posted my wedding pictures and video, but I'm extremely excited that it has.  

Nearly 2.5 months into this new year, I've already been invited to 6 weddings.  So perhaps I'll continue to be inspired by weddings and will get a new round of material to reference in my articles.  I love that Temple of Groom exists in 2013! 

Also, be on the lookout for my upcoming articles in Destination Wedding Magazine.  In the next issue the article I wrote is stuffed to the gills with great ideas where to cut costs in your destination wedding.  And I just finished writing a great article on how to make your "beer & wine only" bar fun for your guests who were expecting hard alcohol!  You guys really should check these articles out - if for no other reason than I want to be invited back to keep writing for you!  

How late is too late?

So I have to kind of tread lightly on this post...I don't want to divulge too much information...but I must say, I'm too curious for input not to post and get a little feedback from you all.

My question: How late is TOO late to complain to one of your wedding vendors?

I've told you about many great wedding vendors that I've had.  But I've kept my frustrations with one of them quiet.  That's kind of a "Sixth Sense" twist you didn't see coming, huh?!  Thought my wedding was flawless, huh?!  Well it was pretty fucking incredible, but looking back I have a complaint with something and it's kind of a biggie.

My intent of this blog isn't to point fingers or out someone for a job I wasn't crazy about, but rather to find out if I should say something to the vendor.  Ultimately I suppose there's no true benefit of confrontation- it can't change anything about our wedding day or deliver a better product to us.  However, I've had this lingering thought for a while that I should say something.  Maybe there IS something that can be done for us... I don't know.

I guess this is about as vague as a blog post can get.  I don't want to publicly flame someone or a company... but at the end of the day, I wasn't happy with a product that he/she/they/it delivered.  My wedding was nearly two years ago, but should I say something?  Is it too late to complain?  Should I just let it go?  What would you do?


PS. For those that are going to try to guess the vendor, I will give you one giant hint:  It is NOT CallawayGable.  I look back on my pictures daily and think about how great they are.  Hell, I look at pictures that they post of OTHER people's weddings and think about how great they are.  So if you are guessing in that direction, STOP IT!

Would you hire a straight male wedding planner?

Hypothetically... would you ever hire a straight male wedding planner?  How about a husband and wife planning team?  I'm truly not asking because I want to be a wedding planner... I'm honestly just curious if straight men are truly putting their thumbprint on the wedding industry.

You can't deny that over the last few years we've seen a surge in the amount of male wedding bloggers and men interested in weddings in general.  Whether it's because the economy has forced couples to work together, or because men are finally waking up and realizing that they're throwing the best party of their lives, my gender has been way more involved.  Some of the most wedding savvy people I know right now are men.

NOW, the question arises... do women really trust us enough to let us help plan professionally?  Women, do you trust straight men enough to accept us into a profession that is dominated by women or gay men?  Would you hire us?  Do you think we are able to help plan a wedding that both Bride & Groom would be proud to call their own?  In the days where you turn on the television and hear all about "man caves" and "man-b-ques" et al, do you trust that we could give you something that isn't a "man wedding"?

Rebecca will be the first one to tell you that I did a lot of our wedding planning.  Not one guest, vendor, or internet troll commented that our wedding was masculine in the slightest bit.  Everyone had a blast and thought it was a beautiful and entertaining wedding.  I think having both my sense of style mixed with Rebecca's is what made the wedding pop.  

Ultimately I guess the job of the wedding planner is to facilitate the vision of the Bride and Groom. I absolutely think it's possible for us to do this!  Please don't confuse this post as me saying women aren't doing a wonderful job in this industry.  You've conquered it and are running it soundly.  I'm just curious, as men get more and more involved each year, do you trust us enough to put your wedding in our hands. 

Let me know what you think!  Would you hire a straight male wedding planner?  If not, why?  How much do you really trust us?  What could we do to prove that we're ready?  Do you think there would be any benefits of hiring a man?  Are you a straight man that is a wedding planner?  Is it hard to get work?

Sound off!!!!

A Temple of Groom v2.0 Intro

It seriously blows my mind that I'm approaching my two year wedding anniversary. How did this happen?

At this time two years ago we were receiving RSVPs to our wedding. Two years later I managed to put all my lost wedding weight back on, but I also managed to stay married! You take the good, you take the bad, it's the facts of life... the facts of life. You might roll your eyes thinking staying married for 2 whole years isn't such a big deal, but this day in age when some marriages only last 72 days (oh god, a Kardashian reference?! I'm rusty at blogging, okay?!) two years is as much to celebrate as 40 years.

I've come to the conclusion that the wedding is tough, but marriage is pretty tough too. I don't want that to come off as sounding like I haven't enjoyed being married. That's not true. Being married to Rebecca has been amazing. She is still my best friend and the love of my life. That being said, this shit is hard, people.

Even though the wedding seems like an impossible task you've taken on, looking back... it's kind of easy. If I could go back in time to talk to "Temple of Groom - in his prime" self, there's a lot we could talk about. After I give him some advice like "plastics" (see: The Graduate) and he rolls his eyes, I would give him real advice that only becomes clear years after the wedding.

Relax. This is all going to get done. You know you're going to get it all done. You don't need a future version of yourself coming back in time to tell you that you're going to get it done to know that it ALWAYS seems to figure itself out. I've never been to a wedding where the Bride and Groom walk down the aisle saying "Sorry everyone! We didn't have time to get our seating assignments done!". Everything will get done...

...and worst case scenario, if it doesn't get done, it's not the end of the world. The week before the wedding I'm sure there was a laundry list of last minute things Rebecca and I had to get done. I'm pretty sure some of them probably DIDN'T get done. But it didn't derail the wedding. AND the day after the wedding, anything you didn't have time to squeeze in, seems completely meaningless. The important things ALWAYS get done. The officiant, the marriage license, getting married. Ah! Okay... I didn't get a backdrop for my homemade wedding photo booth. Big deal, right?

The thing I've come to realize the most is that before the wedding it's ALL you're focused on. The months leading up to the wedding, life might exist outside of planning and blogging and reading wedding blogs and frantically trying to lose weight, but you don't truly notice it. There's no time for job stress, or real life situation stress. You nail the big project at work and don't even notice it because "WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO FIND AFFORDABLE STRING LIGHTS TO HANG OVER THE DANCE FLOOR?!?!?!?!?!". In that regard, wedding planning is kind of an incredible thing. I wish I had another wedding to plan!

Now, years later, when life gets you down, you don't have anything as big as a wedding to distract you. So you have to face it. And it's tough. There's no giant distraction to unload your stress onto. Perhaps those blowout fights about what type of stamps should go on our invitations were a good thing. Perhaps it was a great way to release tension. Now without a giant project on my plate like a wedding, I realize that planning a wedding is tough, but staying married is probably equally as tough. Stress filters into your marriage in new ways that it didn't before.

So that's how I'm going to introduce the next incarnation of my blog. I'll, of course, talk a lot about weddings (can you believe I still have wedding related questions on my mind??) but I think I want to start talking about marriage too. Someday the blog will hopefully morph into "Temple of Womb" where another huge project (pregnancy) will distract us from life, but for now, I'll continue posting my wedding questions, and start filtering in my marriage questions.

So much has happened in the last two years. Good, and bad. I think it's going to be really good to get back behind the blogging wheel...

Style us pretty!

Today has been great! I finally got to announce that a comedy pilot I wrote is a finalist in the NY TV Festival and is now in the hands of FOX's comedy development team. Fingers are crossed as tightly as they can be. Makes it difficult to type, but I have to do whatever I can.

SECONDLY I just got a tweet telling me that my wedding is featured on the STYLE ME PRETTY blog! So exciting. The best thing about the wedding blog world is that even nearly a year after your wedding, things like this can potentially pop up and send you back to the day you were married. Looking at CallawayGable pictures never gets old. They make me remember how great the wedding was.

Last night in bed Rebecca and I were talking about how much we want to go visit Cayucos again - hopefully we'll plan a trip to the Cass House soon -these pictures will have to do for now!

Anyway follow this link over to the Style Me Pretty blog if you want to see more pictures from our wedding!

Miss you all! Promise to try to write more

I miss getting married!

Today it hit me that I kind of miss planning and stressing about the wedding. I know that sounds odd, but so does a blog about a guy that likes weddings. A couple of our friends are getting married this weekend and another couple tying the knot next weekend. Mrs. Temple of Groom and I will attend 2 weddings in June and then another in August. It's just really exciting, and I'm envious of all the couples going through this!

While I don't miss the arguments about stamps or centerpieces with my parents I do miss the constant rush you have that you're about to marry someone. That everything you've worked so hard to plan and perfect is about to payoff in the most incredible way. It culminates with the fact that you're about to embark on one of the most important life altering days you'll ever have. Again, I'd like to reiterate, there's a LOT I don't miss but ultimately, it's such an unparalleled great experience no matter what happens.

While you're planning, absolutely nothing anyone can say will convince you that things will be incredible no matter what happens, but it's true. Nothing can convince me of that more than a recent post by Bowie Bride. Her post proved that even if you walk away from the wedding and didn't technically get married (which I guess is up there with one of the worst things that can happen) the day can still be perfect. You should go take a read if you're completely stressing and need to breathe. (LINK) When you're planning, and unable to breath because the wedding is less than 2 weeks away, it's nearly impossible to realize that your day is going to be perfect no matter what happens. Rain or shine, cake or not, chicken vs fish - it won't matter. It'll be perfect.

And the truth is the stress completely helps amplify the day and make it special. The second you overcome the stress and you just let it go, is one of the best experiences and feelings you'll ever have. You need the stress to appreciate the serenity and excitement of the day. The first time I saw Rebecca during our "first look" is the moment where I just let everything go. Tears, stress and anxiety were quickly replaced by excitement and my desire to just get married to this woman and party. It's such an incredible experience. When you're planning you often forget that the point of the wedding is to get married... The day gets cluttered with "did-we-remembers...". Did we remember to get the checks for the a capella kids, did we remember to pack the chuppa poles, did we get our marriage documents to the rabbi... it's never as simple and clear as "I just can't wait to get married to you!" Sure you have your moments of "we should have eloped, I just want to be married" but it's all just verbiage you say because you're stressed and just completely over planning-mode.

I don't really know what the point of this post is. It's perhaps one of the most jumbled and least thought out writings I've done on the blog. I feel like I'm on my soapbox a little, but it's all coming from the heart. I guess I'm just writing to tell my friends to really cherish this time. Enjoy the stress, and enjoy lack of sleep. It all pays off. The more stressed you are, the more incredible your day is going to be.

Rebecca and I just picked up our wedding photo album from our photographers - CallawayGable Photography. Although we've seen the photos thousands of times now, actually having the physical gorgeous leather bound book of your pictures kind of makes you realize that it really happened. It's kind of bittersweet. On one hand you've got the most incredible memories, but on the other, you just want it to happen all over again.

SO, good luck to friend about to make the leap. I'm so excited for you all and I assure you, it will be the most incredible day, even if it's not...

AND, just because I haven't posted every picture of my wedding - I thought I would include a couple more. At the end of the night in place of throwing rice, or confetti, or bubbles at us - the entire reception made its way to the pier on the beach across the street. We lit sky lanters into the breezy night sky. (don't worry they are biodegradable and eco friendly)

(all photos taken by CallawayGable Photography)

A STD that makes my childhood happy!

Came across this Save-the-Date this morning and had to repost it! I used to LOVE garbage pail kids when I was growing up. Hell, I STILL love Garbage Pail Kids.

Painted by a real Garbage Pail Kids artist, Brent Engstrom for a friend. Visit his blog if you need a moment of nostalgia! I gotta say, if I received this STD, it would be one wedding that come hell or high water, I would attend. (note: I don't ACTUALLY judge which weddings I attend based on the STD. I don't want to start an uproar)

Reaching Centerpiece Peace

As I'm guessing any reading this are avid wedding blog readers, you know that centerpieces can often break the bank. When Rebecca and I were planning our wedding we'd spend time figuring out our budget and things we wanted to spend money on, then go bang our heads into the wall when we realized that we forgot to budget for centerpieces. If there's one business I'd now like to get into, it's the centerpiece business. Centerpiece business owners should probably just go ahead and read a different post because this isn't going to pretty.

So, let's think of a business model. What's something that people don't really care about all that much, but feel obligated to spend tons of money on? What's something that people don't REALLY know the cost of so we can just say it's SUPER expensive? What's something we can get for cheap, but can mark up 1000%? What's something that people could most likely do themselves, but once they really think about doing it themselves they'll say "meh, let's just pay someone else to worry about this!"? CENTERPIECES! Let's do this! We'll make a killing!

I reached inner centerpiece peace during a conversation with Rebecca. A moment of clarity during our planning. If you're looking to save a buck you only have to spend enough to make your centerpieces forgettable. We'll never be able to afford enough to make guests go home and say "damn those were beautiful elegant centerpieces" - so we just wanted to spend enough to make guests go home without saying "damn those were the stupidest/ugliest centerpieces". Just make them forgettable! That being said, I think we came up with great centerpieces, that would be classy, nice, and perhaps just 1 notch up from unforgettable.

We quickly decided not to have flowers arrangements. It was just not in our budget. We could go to the flower market and get wholesale flowers, but we questioned if they'd survive a 4 hour drive the day before the wedding and if they'd really look fresh. Plus we questioned if we'd want to actually arrange the flowers. We were lucky enough to be married in a garden, and then have our dinner/reception in an outdoor area surrounded by flowers and fresh herbs. We didn't need to spend the money on the flowers. We decided that we wanted to decorate with light. I just think there's something nice about a candle, especially at an outdoor wedding.

We went out and we found affordable glass vases and candles. Rebecca found awesome ceramic birds at a great price, and spray painted them to give them the vintage feel. Then we hit ebay and found vintage photo frames that Rebecca spruced up with high gloss yellow spray paint. Did I forget to tell you guys that I'm married to Banksy? So much spray painting before the wedding!

Our final centerpiece arrangement I think was a masterpiece. I think it was exactly what we wanted. Something pretty, casually chic, with a pop of diy. The vases were ultimately a bit beautifully forgettable, but we made our centerpieces memorable by our guests by injecting some of ourselves into the table. The birds and the picture frames that had our table numbers, which were funny pictures of our puppy. He couldn't be at our wedding, so we wanted him there somehow. Here are some pictures of our tables:

Lastly, I just want to mention that our centerpieces are now for sale! We've sold the birds, but everything else is still available. We have 12 large vases (I think they are like 20" tall), 33 smaller bubble looking vases, and 8 picture frames. Email me if you want prices! Let us help you reach CenterPEACE-of-Mind!

Our Wedding Video

If you frequent my blog, you've most likely read about our videographer, Daniel Boswell. Allow me to once more get on my soapbox and shout out how badass I think this guy is. I know that posts get tired and old where you hear the writer say over and over again that you need to hire his/her vendor cause they are the best - but, seriously, you need to hire Daniel Boswell. The guy is brilliant. I'll let his work back me up - but stick around for my thoughts after the video because I'll explain to you that this was SHOWN at the freakin wedding reception.

Pretty awesome, right? Let me tell you a little bit about the process of the man that Rebecca and I would refer to as "The Boz".
Daniel and his team of 2 other shooters got to our wedding as Rebecca and I were getting ready. They were so quiet and so professional that they just blended right in. Getting ready in front of them felt natural. Rebecca told me that she even asked "When do you think the videographers are going to get here?" and they were already there shooting video! It allowed us to get ready naturally. So Daniel and his shooters film as we get, ready, we have our 1st look, we have pictures taken, we sign the ketubah, we get married, we cocktail hour, then our first dance. That's all the usual. Here's where the incredibly awesome part kicks in.... Daniel has his 2 shooters continue to cover the wedding reception while he hauls ass and edits the footage from earlier in the day. He's like a mad scientist in his lab, importing footage, editing, etc. In the time that it takes most to import a photo of their dog sneezing to upload to youtube, The Boz has already imported and edited together footage up until our 1st look. The guy is a machine.
About half way into the ceremony while we're cutting our cake, Daniel is on the dance floor setting up a projector and screen.
(remember: wedding photos taken by Callaway Gable Photography)
All our guests gathered around and watched the 4 minute video of footage they didn't see throughout the day. The awesome thing about Daniel Boswell's work is that our guests really enjoyed watching it. Even though they JUST saw us get married and have our first dance, they were still captivated by the video. They hadn't seen our 1st look, or the getting ready footage, so it was something new to them as well. I was worried that it would maybe be that cliche "Wanna see slides of our vacation" scenario - but it totally wasn't.

Friends that work in the film industry were baffled at how great the video was and how quickly it was put together. I think that they liked the video not only for content, but also for the fashion in which it was created. Family members were completely moved. Everyone loved it. WE loved it. Chris Easter from The Man Registry was at our wedding and can back up how awesome it was. "I actually was shocked when the video started playing and I realized it was the wedding that had JUST HAPPENED. Somebody give this guy an Oscar for editing on the fly!"
From day 1 I've said that the most important thing is to pick vendors that truly love the work. Vendors that aren't doing it for a paycheck, but do it because they are passionate about weddings, or the service that they provide. This rings true with Daniel. He enjoys the thrill of meeting the deadline - having to get things done in such a hurry. If you don't understand how impressive this is I'll tell you, it usually takes HOURS for someone to even load footage into a computer to edit. Additionally, once you get it into the computer, looking for shots and organizing footage can be an all day event. I'm just saying, it's fucking impressive, okay?
Anyway - that's our Same Day Edit wedding video! More wedding details to come!
BTW, if you're interested in hiring Daniel, please visit his website: http://imagiqueweddings.com/

Where the hell have I been?!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm back. Wow. Hi guys. I owe you an apology. I went out for some milk and eggs, and I just never came back. No explanation. No card. I just vanished. By the way, when a person really does leave like that, why does it always seem like he/she's going out for milk? I don't drink milk, so I don't know if it's something about that beverage or not, but it always seems like on those shows when someone talks about their husband leading a double life, he always goes out to get milk and disappears. Anyway.... life has really been crazy the past 1/2 a year, let me fill you in.

As you know, I got married! Sunday, August 8th Rebecca and I became Mr & Mrs. Temple of Groom. It's a long last name, but it's a family name, so she was happy to take it. Monday morning our families took a tour of the Hearst Castle since we were married only 30 minutes away. Then we drove back down to LA. One by one our family members flew back to their respective homes and by Wednesday Rebecca and I were alone in a quiet house with our pup. (note to our families: I'm not saying that we were happy to be alone, just commenting that by Wednesday every one of our house guests had left.) Rebecca and I gave ourselves one day of pure and utter crash on the couch bliss and the next day we went to Disneyland. Which has become our ritual prior to me having to leave town..... which is what I had to do one day later.

Sunday morning Rebecca drove me to the airport and I flew to Georgia for the next 3.5 months to work on a film production. One reason I didn't really say too much about that was I didn't want to publicize that I was away and left my new wife home alone... I know I can trust you guys... but something about broadcasting that I was away didn't seem like a wise choice. I've seen one too many stories about online predators scouring Wedding Blogs and it scared me. Anyway - my new married life was put on hold for a little while.

My days in Atlanta, then 2 hours outside of Atlanta in the middle of nowhere, and then back in Atlanta were chaotic. I was working 16-18 hour days, 6-7 days a week, then falling asleep on the phone w/ Rebecca for the last half an hour of my day. The job was incredible though. Such a great experience. I was promoted. I was honored to help out creatively. I was working with the greatest people. Although exhausted, it was rewarding. I'll fill you in a little bit about the project. Did you see the movie "Role Models" with Paul Rudd and Stiffler? My boss (David Wain) directed that movie and that was our first project together. Throughout the years we've worked on other projects together, but this current project was his next big movie. It will be called "Wanderlust" and will star Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston. One of the movie's producers is Judd Apatow, so this film not only gave me the opportunity to meet him, but also to work with him. So I spent about 6 weeks in the middle of nowhere Georgia working with David Wain, Ken Marino, Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston, Alan Alda, Justin Theroux, Malin Ackerman, Lauren Ambrose, Kathryn Hahn, Joe Lo Truglio, Kerri Kenny, etc etc etc. I drank actual moonshine and I ate fried food all day every day (which is something that I totally deprived myself of leading up to the wedding). Ate at Chick-Fil-A as many times as I could. A delicacy for the Eastern transplants to Los Angeles (yes I know we finally have one or two open...)

ANYWAY, right before Thanksgiving I got back to LA. It's been wonderful. Rebecca and I had a very quiet Thanksgiving together which is exactly what we wanted. We made a small turkey and all the accoutrements and it was great. THEN about a week later, and this is pretty funny...Our place got broken into. After I proactively didn't say that I was out of town for the very reason of not tipping people off, I get back, and our place gets broken into! We see the humor in it now. Burglars made off with my computer, a plasma tv, earrings, a bag of mine containing a bunch of my things, etc etc etc....all material items that are replaceable. Funny though, when I called Rebecca to tell her that our place has been broken into and I didn't know what all was missing yet, she immediately started to panic that our brand new wedding gift Kitchen Aid mixer was surely gone. She cracks me up. Yes, the thieves couldn't wait to get their damn hands on our mixer. They don't know EXACTLY what they'll use it for, but they're just so cool looking that they had to get it on their counter at home. I'm happy to say, the mixer was not stolen. At the end of the day we're better off because now we have a killer state of the art security system.

SO, that brings us to the Holidays. We had a great quiet Holiday at home. I know that sounds boring to most, but I spent so long being away from home and just exhausted myself so much that being home and doing nothing is perfect. New Years Eve we made a great dinner for one another and rang in the new year with our new favorite cocktail. If you like Root Beer do yourself a favor and buy a bottle of ROOT. Long story short, pre-prohibition people drank Root Tea which was a blend of teas and herbs and alcohol. Prohibition happened and they stripped the alcohol from Root Tea, carbonated it, and then oddly renamed it "Root Beer". ROOT is just pre-prohibition Root Beer. SO, you take 2 ounces of ROOT and mix it with 2 ounces of Cream Soda and you have one killer cocktail.

SO, that pretty much takes us to the present. That's where I've been and what I've been up to! I'm going to start blogging again. I took time off, but hopefully you understand why. I still have lots to talk about. I never fully finished telling you about my wedding. This will be great though, I get to relive it now - 5 months later - through talking to you about it.

It's good to be back!

One of our favorites

I don't think I'll have a moment to post today, but I wanted to put something new on the blog. I thought I'd post one of our favorite pics from the reception. Rebecca loves this one because she thinks it just sums up the night. I think the look on her face is priceless. You can just tell how happy we are!

(photo courtesy of Callaway Gable Photography)

Ceremony a cappella?! A ca-hellyeah!

I can finally tell you about some of the little touches that made our wedding personal! Yes, I didn't tell you everything, and I'm sorry for that. You know I never want to keep anything from you baby... it's just, I didn't know who else was out there reading this blog. I didn't want my wedding invitees to know about all of our wedding details before they got there, and if one of them read my posts, well then, they'd all know everything. I hope you can trust me again one day.

The first wedding detail I want to tell you about is so cool. We had a college a cappella group at our wedding! They performed before the wedding, and then during the ceremony! It was AWESOME. People are still talking about it. It's something that I've wanted to tell you about for so long, but had to keep top secret.

A while ago Rebecca and I were talking about ceremony music. I was absolutely appalled when I saw how much money some musicians charge to come out and play for an hour (tops). When you weigh that against the price of a DJ that plays music for several hours, or even some wedding bands that play entire receptions, some of these ceremony musicians need to get off their high horses and charge a little less. You have to pick from a list of generic wedding music that they already know, and then if you want them to learn something special they charge you more money. It just seemed like a crazy expense that was an easy cut for someone on a budget. Additionally, I've never been a huge fan of conventional wedding music - ie the violins, the string quartet, etc. That's not to say that I don't enjoy it at other people's weddings - it just means I didn't really ever see it fitting into mine.

I've been to weddings where people had interesting musicians play their ceremony. A cousin of mine had a jazzy horn trio (that had a rocking tuba) and they were great. It was the first time that I really enjoyed the song "Stand by me". Her musicians stuck out cause they were awesome. It was a cool touch. Many people have the option of having a friend or a relative sit in as their musicians. I think that's a really cool idea - but it wasn't something that was an option for us.

So I thought about what type of music I would want during my reception. I wanted something fun. Something that people would enjoy while they waited for the ceremony to start, something that I would enjoy walking down the aisle to, and lastly something FUN to run back down the aisle to as man and wife! Unfortunately, and downright surprisingly, I never heard back from Ben Folds, so I had to cross him off my list and look to my backup plan. Ben DID, however, assist in helping me come up with the idea! A while ago, Ben released a cd of college a cappella groups singing a few of his songs. He hosted country wide auditions on his myspace and website. He asked college groups to send in versions of his songs.

I LOVE a cappella music. I think my love for it was conceived during my adolescence while watching "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" on television every afternoon. A group called Rockapella would sing us in and out of segments and then rock us out at the end of each episode. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that they were one of the first bands I typed into Napster years later when you could search for music to illegally download. I was shocked to find out that they had other songs... pop songs... classics... etc. It opened my eyes to a cappella. An a cappella group singing "No Diggity"?! Awesome. So, I love a cappella music.

Flash forward years later, and I'm searching for college a cappella groups to come sing at my wedding. It seemed like a natural fit to our relaxed, different, fun, wedding. Something that screamed us since Mrs. Temple of Groom loves a cappella as well (in fact, sorry Ben, but Rebecca listens to that a cappella cd in the car more than your original music sometimes!). So I listened to a cappella groups sing on their sites, and youtube, and sent emails out to the ones I loved. One of the groups I was most excited about was the first one to respond back to my email: Cloud 9 A Cappella from UCSC (University of California Santa Cruz). They were so excited, and very open to learning the new songs that I wanted for our ceremony.

I have to admit, hiring college students for something as important as my wedding day was a little unnerving. When I thought back to how reliable I probably was in college, and how SOBER I was in college, it scared me a little. But I have to say, Cloud9 was professional all the way. They delivered everything we asked for, and more. They set the tone for our guests. Everyone knew that they were in for a night that was going to be unlike any traditional wedding they'd ever been to. It was the PERFECT start to the day.

We told Cloud 9 that we didn't need them to sing lovey-dovey songs before the wedding. It's just not us, so we didn't require it. So Rebecca and I were happy to pick songs from their list of already performed music. For the pre-ceremony music we chose "Higher and Higher" by Jackie Wilson (you know it "your love, keep lifting me higher! Higher and higher", "Wonderboy" by Tenacious D, a mashup of "Kids" (MGMT) and "Poker Face" (Lady Gaga), and "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. The sucky thing is that we didn't really get to hear the music! The group sang while we signed our ketubah (Jewish marriage documents), BUT we could hear our wedding guests going wild! When we lined up for the wedding ceremony, we could hear everyone getting into the music! They were LOVING it. Clapping after each song bobbing their heads, it was a success.

When the ceremony started I walked down the aisle to another song that they already knew, but I love, and was very appropriate: "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler from the movie "The Wedding Singer". The song is fun, light, and in a way, oddly romantic! When it's sung by live singers, it's classic and many people came up to me and said they loved the version even more than the original.

Then in one of the most moving moments of my life the group sang the first song we asked them to learn for Rebecca's entrance: "In My Life" by The Beatles. It was unbelievable. Not only do I think that it's an incredibly touching song when it was sung live, with feeling and heart, we just got so more than I ever expected. It was overwhelming. Yes, I think I probably cried a little bit. I do know for certain that I took a lot of deeeeep breathes because I literally was so excited and so overwhelmed by every emotion I forgot to breathe! Rebecca walked down the aisle, circled me 7 times (a conservative Jewish tradition), took my hand, and we walked underneath our chuppa (Jewish wedding canopy) to the lyrics "and I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often think about them, in my life I loved you more." and because these kids were so professional and came to our rehearsal, we were able to PERFECTLY time our entrance under the chuppa with the end of the song - when they re-sing the last line "in my life, I love you more". It sent chills down my spine. Even the first time we practiced it at our rehearsal, we knew we were in for something incredible. Something we didn't expect to be as moving as it was. I'm not afraid to tell you that I'm emotionally moved as I type this blog post! It was AWESOME. Below, listen to an mp3 of a practice session that Cloud 9 sent us a few months before the wedding. Keep in mind this is a practice session where they were first learning the song. Listen to it!


THEN, if that wasn't enough, Cloud 9 learned one last song for our wedding march back down the aisle: "Crazy In Love" by Beyonce! When they blasted the "horns" at the beginning of the song as we ran back up the aisle, it was AWESOME. We could hear them belting out their song from back inside of the house on the venue. There was SO much energy. Our guests stood and danced, and when the group ended you could hear everyone go crazy for them. It started the day on the right foot, it brought so much energy to the end of the ceremony that we carried on through the rest of the night. It was just US. We successfully injected a little of our personality into something that sometimes either gets overlooked. (Okay, not as much of our personality as the group of people that danced to Chris Brown down the aisle, but enough of our personality without making a youtube spectacle - Rebecca wouldn't allow it.....) Before they left, we were able to go thank the group but I don't think they'll realize how special it was to us. They were moved during the ceremony and the songs, and I think everyone else was too.

So there you have it, the first detail I kept from you guys. A college a cappella group as our ceremony musicians. Something I haven't seen before, and something I kept close to my chest. I can not endorse this idea enough. Lastly, here's a couple great pictures our photographers (Callaway Gable Photography) took of the group!

(visit Cloud 9's website to listen to their music and watch videos of past performances!)

My Photographers Could Beat Up Your Photographers!

Let me just say how extremely happy I am that we chose to go with Callaway Gable Photography as our wedding photographers. The way I see it, a good photograph will transport you back to the moment it was taken. You'll feel it with all of your senses. That's what Brian and Allie gave us. I can't say enough good things about these two. If you're serious about having photographs that you'll actually look at for a lifetime, artistic images, beautiful wedding shots, you need to add Callaway Gable to your contact list. At least give them a call and talk to Brian. Let them work out a package that best suits you. This goes so far beyond me saying "hey, I think I had a great wedding, and you should use my vendors". This falls into the category of, "Look, if you're someone that's looking for a photographer you can trust and with whom you'll feel absolutely comfortable - I've done your homework." Prior to our engagement session, Rebecca and I had probably about 2 nice pictures together that we liked. I'm telling you, the two of us never thought we photograph well, and when we try to take a picture together it usually looks mediocre at best. We figured that in our wedding pictures we'd look fairly awkward and posed. I was completely afraid that we would never look like a wedding couple. Instead, two kids playing dress up. Callaway Gable proved us wrong. While they both have the eye it takes to be a photographer, Allie really knows the right poses to highlight your best features. We looked like ADULTS. We looked like models. And most importantly, we had a blast. Brian and Allie were EVERYWHERE and yet they felt like they were nowhere. They were complete pros. Again, if you don't at least contact them then I have to assume you aren't really serious about your wedding photography needs.

I've decided not to do one massive photography post, but also to mix in their pictures throughout all of my wedding recap posts. Any picture you see was taken by them. I figure instead of just telling you about wedding details, I'll show them to you!

I feel like Brian and Allie drove up the coast not only to shoot our wedding, but to be with us as well. Over the last year and half, these two became our friends. In fact, the first time I called Brian to inquire about our wedding photography I was on my way to Vegas for a friend's bachelor party. We spent roughly an hour on the phone talking about wedding photography, my blog, what we wanted out of our pictures, and about life in general. I have to admit, before the call I questioned why Brian couldn't just correspond over email, but AFTER the phone call I was so happy that we spoke. It made me realize that Brian wanted to know me as a person instead of just an email address. We became friends. I instantly trusted him, and knew that he was a wedding photographer because he loves the work, he loves weddings, he loves LOVE. A work done by a vendor that has such a passion for what he/she is doing is always going to be better than the work by a vendor that is doing it for a paycheck. I felt Callaway Gable was perfect. They aren't photographers that pigeon hole themselves into one style. So many photographers I was looking at either did that "photo journalistic" approach OR traditional photography. The way I would describe their work is a casual approach to high fashion images. On their blog they call it "New Fashioned Wedding Photography" I like that a lot... it's basically capturing life the most beautiful way possible...

Brian and Allie got to our venue and immediately started casing the joint... they walked around and got a lay of the land and you could get a sense that without even having taken one picture - they knew every shot they were going to get that day. I didn't have one of those "I hope they do well" or "I hope they take a picture of..." moments, because I knew we were in good hands. I'm sorry - I know I'm rambling on and on about them, but in a moment you'll see why.... Brian and Allie came to me before I started getting ready for the day and chatted for a while. Just about cool details I had planned for the day and about how excited we were. Then they said they'd been driving around town for about 30 minutes and found incredible spots (fields, barns, etc) and if I was up for it, they'd like to go off site to do our wedding portraits. I was down because I knew if they thought it was cool - we'd love it. They went and asked Rebecca. She was game because it took her mind off of being nervous and anxious before the wedding! Below are the incredible images of us getting ready for the day, our first look, and our pre wedding portraits. Later I'll post pictures when I talk about specific parts of the day (ie, when I talk about the ceremony I'm going to post Callaway Gable ceremony pictures, when I talk about the awesome dance party that the reception turned into, I'll post Callaway Gable reception pictures....).

Before I Was Spoken For...

I'd like to think that we were pretty damn prepared. The week before the wedding I continuously emailed our coordinator (With Bells On Productions) and asked her what we were forgetting. We did well... we were on it. For some reason though that seemed to stress me out even more. I was stressed that I was leaving something out, and spending restless nights trying to think about what I was forgetting seemed to be my business leading up to the wedding.

The week before the wedding we had family come to town. They all stayed with us. All together 10 people at our house for the few days leading up to the wedding. Family that had never even met one another, living in close quarters. We went 0 to 60 QUICKLY. Thank God we each have friendly families, because that could have been bad. MRS. Temple of Groom's family was the first to arrive to our house, then my family filtered in. Reality quickly set in that the wedding was coming. Mistakenly I figured that the days leading up to the wedding would be filled with lounging and relaxation - feeling more like when we go back home for the holidays and less like a hurricane of wedding related content.

We decided to have a huge bbq for extended family that was in LA at our house 3 days before the wedding. With the help of our families we pulled it off, and it was a very nice night. Looking back though I kinda have to ask ourselves if we're gluttons for punishment! We could have spent that night relaxing with our families...but it was their first time with one another - it called for celebration. Additionally one last large detail that needed to be planned - our parents really wanted us to turn the guest house at the Cass House Inn (where we got married) into a hospitality suite. The night before the wedding, we had a meet & greet and invited anyone that was already in Cayucos to come have a bite to eat, have a drink or two (or 5), and hang out with my family. Also, they bought enough alcohol to stock in the suite so anyone that wanted to party after the wedding reception was over, could filter in and get his/her drink on - This proved to be a LOT of work for our families. Well all the work was worth it, the meet & greet the night before the reception such a nice evening and a way for our families to meet one another. Maybe planning two huge parties before the wedding was not the best idea - but it was the first time we had our entire family together - so it just seemed like we should take advantage of that fact.

Rebecca and I did a good job organizing everything we needed for the wedding into our storage room, but when you added all the hospitality suite necessities to the mix, it was overwhelming! So much stuff. Luckily my sister-in-law brought her boyfriend who was trying to make a good impression on the family and seems like an overall workhorse was "happy" to do the heavy lifting when it came to loading the car! While I wouldn't do anything differently if I got to relive the week over again, I do wish that there had been time for our family to just be with one another and relax a little bit. Rebecca and I were getting no sleep due to the wedding jitters and spending the nights on the couch. It was making for a pretty stressful week even though we had everything under control. That's the worst part of weddings. They are more stress than just about anything and you tend to take your stress out on loved ones. At least they understand.... it just sucks. The whole thing is so backwards - your family comes to town BEFORE the wedding, and you want to scream because you've got so much to do - then you have the wedding and it's perfect, then when you're so relaxed and calm, the family leaves. It seems so backwards. Our families left right when we were ready to just veg out and enjoy them! Alas, that's not how things work out - and it's a good thing that they are family and can understand we're just at our wits end w/ stress.

The night before the wedding I actually slept pretty well. I'm not sure if that's because I had my own room, with a bed, instead of the couch, or if it was because I knew that everything I worked SO hard for over the last year and a half was about to pay off in a major way. It was so weird to say goodnight to Rebecca and then leave her in her own room. I like the fact that not sleeping with one another the night before the wedding and not seeing one another before the festivities start builds anticipation, but it's just so weird to be apart before such a monumental occasion. Before bed I considered writing my last blog post as a single man, but i just decided to take in the moment. So many people have given me the advice to relax and try to take in everything because it will blow by so quickly. So that's what I did. I laid in bed by myself and just relaxed. There was not one nerve coursing through my veins that was nervous about marrying Rebecca. Instead I was nervous/excited to see what the day would look like. For a year and a half we spent so much time working on each individual detail of the wedding - it became hard to step back and see the big picture. I was so anxious to see what the entire day was going to look like. Would the details that we'd come up with really going to pay off, and would our guests think they were as cool as we did? I couldn't WAIT to see everything and everyone come together. It almost felt like it was never going to happen. I feared that something wouldn't go as planned. It's been my experience, with most events, that there's bound to be a hiccup somewhere. Murphy's Law rears its ugly head somewhere and things don't go exactly as planned.... what would that detail be that didn't pan out? Right before bed I took one last stroll outside around the grounds of the Cass House. I walked down the lawn where we'd be married, and around to the opposite side of the house where our reception would be. The calm before the storm. A chilly central California coast night. I was glad that we upped the amount of heaters we needed. That walk around the house got me so excited, and made me realize that no matter what - if Murphy's Law bites us in the ass, everything will still be okay - we will still get married, and that's the most important element of the day.

I'm Married!

I haven't posted anything for a while. My last post was so long ago that I'm a completely different man than my previous posting self.... Now I am MR. Temple of Groom. That's right. I'm MARRIED! What an awesome whirlwind the last few weeks have been. What an incredible release of stress. I can't wait to tell you everything. Ceremony details, things I learned, etc etc... I think this week will be filled with blog posts!

There's so much to cover. I can now give you details to things I didn't want to talk about on the blog, which wound up being a smart decision. I quickly realized that more of my invited guests read my blog than I originally thought. The fact that I broadcasted that I was going to wear converse shoes with my suit caused more confusion with my male invitees than it should have. "We know that the invitation says 'cocktail attire' but we also know that David plans to wear converse with his suit, does this mean we can wear t-shirts?" I'm slightly exaggerating, but it did cause issues. SO, I left out a lot of my wedding details with the knowledge that soon after the wedding happened I would post about them. And it will keep me blogging for a little while.

I'm trying to think of the best plan of attack to post everything....do I do one huge post about the wedding, do I post about things in chronological order?

For now, I just want to post that I'm married. It was the best day of my life. Everything was so perfect. The day was flawless. The day couldn't have been more catered to Rebecca and me.... god, I wish we could do it all over again.

Bubble Boy

The wedding is officially "THIS WEEKEND". You have no idea how in-fucking-sane that feels to say that. I'm getting exponentially more excited as each day passes, but at the same time I'm getting exponentially more scared.

It's definitely not nerves or cold feet - I'm scared that I'm going to either physically or cosmetically fuck myself up before the wedding. By the way, I'm totally writing this blog post as I wear a crest white strip on my teeth. I have 27 more minutes to finish up before I have to go take this off.

People, I'm downright nervous to leave the house. Every time someone cuts me off on the freeway I ask myself if this is the asshole that's going to ruin me for my wedding. I keep waiting for that giant underground zit that I get on my nose from time to time to rear its ugly face. So, I wash my face thoroughly... but can I overwash my face? I'm scared of that too.

I've been taking a vitamin that my parents got me a few months ago called Purple Defense. I have no idea what's in it, and for all I know it could probably just be crushed up kool aid powder - but honestly it helped me fight off a sore throat last week. I haven't gotten my annual cold yet this year. When I get a cold, I get a fucking cold. I do it right. I'm anticipating getting one on friday and it scares the shit out of me.

A few weeks ago I planned my bachelor party. I will post more about that later this week, but basically I rounded up about 20 of my friends on a saturday morning and we played flag football on a high school football field. Oddly enough I wasn't really scared that I would hurt myself there because it would be TOO perfect. Of course the groom that schedules a football game when he's lost 85% of his athleticism would get hurt at the party... it was just too perfect so I actually wasn't scared. BUT you can bet your ass I was afraid running down the stairs of my house to leave for the game. A trip and a fall because I was too excited to go play ball seems like it would be perfectly fitting. Side note, the game was fun and I couldn't move for a week because my muscles were so sore, but it was great.

Lastly I'm completely fearful to go outside without a proper SPF because I do burn pretty easily. That's what I want, my face to be peeling the morning of my wedding. On the complete other side of the spectrum I'm nervous to stay IN the house because my white pasty face can and will only get pastier... there's no way to win here. I guess the only way to win is to stay inside and then get someone to come in and fake tan me! You think I'm joking but I'm completely serious. I recently had a conversation with Chris from The Man Registry about tanning. He said that while he doesn't want to out any of his friends, he's known quite a few guys that have tanned before the wedding. I think it's a pretty solid idea. I'm worried about looking orange, but I think I've found someone incredible that could potentially do a great job. Her name is Jenna and she runs a company called Here Comes the Sun. The name is worth hiring her alone. She'll come to the house so I don't have to be seen sneaking in and out of a tanning salon. I'm really considering this because she PROMISES me it'll be completely natural. A few weeks ago she tanned the wedding party of a wedding I attended, and they all looked natural.

SO, all that being said, I'm kind of ready to purchase a giant bubble, a hazmat suit, or ANYTHING else that will shield me away from society for the next week. I refuse to touch shopping carts with my bare hands, and prior to eating food from any restaurant, I think I'm going to need to talk with the cooks to make sure they aren't, haven't been, or getting sick. I'm seriously freaked out. Is this normal before the wedding?

Comment away. I'm going to go take off my crest white strip and I'll be back to see if you all think I'm crazy.

What to do?

I've got so many damn things to post about. Just a few days away from the wedding I don't have any shortage of things to talk about. So many awesome great things to type and the excitement is really setting in.

That being said, I need to get something off my chest because right now I'm really upset. One of my all time best friends just wrote me an email telling me he's not coming to my wedding. Thanks for the 6 days of notice. He says he's just got budget issues right now and can't afford to come out here. That would have been a great and fine excuse had it come 2 months ago when our invitations were sent. I definitely understand and empathize. However, all this tells me is that he obviously had no intentions to come if he's looking to score cheap airfare a week before the wedding. Of course it won't fit in your budget if you're just planning the trip now!

My question to you, is do I write him an email to let him know how I really feel? Tell him how upset this makes me, or do I just swallow this, and type back something along the lines of "okay, we'll miss you"? I keep going back and forth in my head. On one hand what will an email really telling him I'm upset accomplish? He'll feel bad, will I feel better? Is it worth it? On the other hand, what he did isn't okay, and he should know, right? I just don't know what to do. This really sucks that I have to even think about this a few days before the wedding.

What should I do?

Let There Be Cake

Okay, I'm a hypocrite. At least I can admit that though. If you've been a blog follower of mine for a while now, you'll know what I'm talking about.

That's right, we are having a wedding cake. HOWEVER, it's only a cake for us to cut into. All this being said, let me get defensive for a moment. We are on a very tight budget. We literally had to turn pennies into dimes. I say literally because for the last year and a half in my basement I've been working on a machine that turns pennies into dimes. See the big stores only have pens that check if a $100 bill is fake, but they don't have pens that check our dimes! Of COURSE we get odd looks from our vendors when we pay for everything in dimes, and yes, a couple of them have called us out that the dimes are a weird coppery silver color and don't have a real shape to them, and YES I may have drawn Roosevelt's face with crayon on top of Lincoln, but results are results. We're getting married in 9 days and it's all thanks to my penny pincher (which is a trademarked name).

Oh my god, what am I typing? Wedding stress has gotten the best of me. Oh, right, cakes. Okay so yes, we're on a budget and the main reason Rebecca and I weren't big on cake is because there's usually a big budgetary concern that comes with having a cake. Not only is the cake expensive, and rightfully so for some of these awesome works of art, but also, sometimes the wedding venue slams you with fees such as cake cutting fees, bringing in cake from outside vendor fees, etc etc.

That being said Rebecca and I definitely wanted some sort of desert to feed one another. A macaroon is a favorite of hers, so that would work, a tartlet, anything. It just didn't matter. But, at our last meeting with our venue, as we were working out our wedding menu the issue of cake came up. They asked us if we wanted a cake, just something small to cut into. We said no, that we'd rather have other desserts. Then they said a magical word that changed everything, "free". That leveled the playing field. I realize that there won't be enough cake to go round. Not everyone is going to get a slice. But you know what?.... fine! I'm okay with that. We've got plenty of other incredible desserts that will be on that table, and people will be happy. Rebecca and I aren't deny ourselves to partake in one of the most typical wedding traditions there is. I wouldn't have been devastated or even saddened if we didn't get cake, but I can admit that it's really nice that we'll get to cut a cake and feed it to one another. Of course it won't be as grand and artistic as if we went to a genuine wedding cake artist (Fantasy Frostings) but it will be perfect for us.

What an excuse!

As of our RSVP by date (June 20th) we were missing answers from about 30% of our guest list. I'm not sure if that's normal or not. I've only planned one wedding before so I'm a little new to this. Maybe it's because our wedding is a destination wedding to about 50% of our guest list and some are still on the fence about trekking out here? At any rate I started emailing a few people who I knew I most likely wasn't going to hear from unless I emailed them. I had a pretty good feeling about each person I emailed, but it's always good to get something in writing so we can start to finish this wedding planning! (I know it's TOTALLY unrealistic, but it'd be great to just be done with everything so we can relax for a few weeks before the wedding... does that ever happen?)

So I emailed one of my friends, and the answer I got back as to why he hadn't yet RSVP-ed was not a complete surprise (based on everything I know about him), but was probably the most appalling/great excuse I've heard. There's definitely a group of guys that I'm worried about putting near an open bar, but at the end of the day it's going to spell fun. Here's his excuse:

"I was drunk at my house and Stacie goes "fill this out now and send it" and then I was like fine and then made a bunch of rude, crass and unfunny jokes all over it. Like "food preference: fresh poon" and then Elizabeth and Stacie were like,

"That's pretty ballsy considering their parents will probably see it" and I was like hell yeah I'm a badass!

And then I woke up the next day and threw it away so it would never accidentally get sent because I don't know what my drunk self was thinking.

I'm coming to the wedding."

The unfortunate thing is had he been sober in the morning, he would have seen the envelope was addressed to US, not our parents.

At the end of the day Rebecca and I realized that since we're having a family style dinner w/ each table getting a meat, veggie, and fish option that putting a spot on the RSVP that said "Dietary Restrictions: _____" was a tad unnecessary. I didn't know it would lend us to getting answers like "Fresh Poon". However, while I'm on that subject, it's just speculation, but if that is indeed where he wrote on our RSVP, does that mean that he CAN'T eat that and only prefers stale? Okay, I'll stop - this is a wedding blog... class it up Dave...